FINDING MY TRUTH

Do I perceive the NEW?

2011-04-05T11:28:00.002-04:00

During this morning's quiet time, God spoke loudly to me!

He said, "Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a New thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it." Isaiah 43:18-19

I think I have discovered what my problem is. Am I looking for the NEW things? Am I seeing?

Lately, all I feel is restless. Restless for New things. The problem with this is, that usually I look elsewhere instead of looking to God to fill my heart with new things. I'm looking in the mall, in magazines, on the internet, on the TV and even talking it over with friends. None of these things hold the answer for me, but in my humanness, those are usually the first places I look.

The mall is a great place to catch a movie, buy a new outfit or have lunch with a friend. But that movie is not going to change me and that new outfit will only hide the obvious.

The magazine will tell me how to look perfect and how far away from that, I really am. It will show me gourmet meals to impress others and even offer me the shopping list, to make my life easier. But instead of going to the WORD, I read a bunch of words that really are not life changing and rarely have anything of value to offer.

The internet will open up a whole new world for us. But it can offer a daily escape from our real lives, the one that God has plans for. The hours of our day can be swallowed up by keeping up with everyone else's life. We ooh and ah over their comments, the lives they get to lead, the pictures of their fabulous life and then we spend our time wishing we were that interesting. The truth is we are that interesting, we do lead a fabulous life, we just don't live enough in our own lives to realize it. We will end up spending what little time we have to love our families and make a difference, watching with anticipation for the next update on Facebook. Enjoy Facebook, encourage others, pray for them, but God has plans for your life, get out into the world and live it.

That black screen plastered on my wall does not hold any answers. It does not show reality. I can fill my free time flipping channels, but what have I gained from it so far? Has it took place of my quiet time? I have to make sure that I don't spend more time on the couch mindlessly watching, while ignoring what God is trying to change in me.

Our friendships can be God given. They are given to us to encourage us and for us to be able to encourage others. We can pray for one another and hold each other while we cry, laugh, and snort. But I must run to Jesus first, it should be my first instinct. Because that friend can love me but she will never be able to heal me.

The first symptom of not enough time with Jesus in my life is restlessness. I am blinded by my feelings, I let anxiety take over my mind and then I become weak. I believe all that Satan has to say to me and I agree with him. Then when it becomes too much, I run to Jesus. There he has to realign my blinders so that I focus forward on him, not to the left, right or behind me. He has to remind me of his WORD, and apply his healing to my heart. Then he has to drain my head of all the useless conversations between me, myself and I. He has to tell me, he has the plan and I don't have to know what it is. All I have to do is listen for his instructions and follow them, regardless of how I feel about them. Then he hugs me and points me back to my life.

Then once again I am walking in the right direction. I am seeing what I once looked past and I then begin embracing this life and what he has in store for me.

I am going to live looking for the NEW things.

What can happen in 9 months

2011-01-04T09:45:00.003-05:00

Love can be grown in 9 months.

Josiah Andrew Gamble was delivered into his loving family on December 22, 2010. He weighed 6 lbs and 12 oz's. He is gorgeous and he has no idea how much joy he has brought to his Nana and Big Daddy.

I have so much to say about his arrival, but I need to put the words into some kind of readable order, until I am able to do so, just look at him.

He is perfect!

Trusting in the midst of waiting...

2010-12-31T08:54:00.000-05:00

A LOT!!!

Life has flown by the last 9 months, while leaving me stunned, confused and mentally wore out. I have not been able to focus or even use the right words in my sentences. When I have listened to my inability to speak correctly or even come up with the right word, I have been scared. I have given thought to early Alzheimer's, that must be it, right. Then I remember I'm pretty young for Alzheimer's, but I felt I was losing my mind. And that feeling has lasted pretty much for the last 9 months.

It began when God gave me exactly what I asked for. I had been having some uneasy feelings about our church and how the focus of our church had been rapidly changing. I asked God to let me see and to give me wisdom on what I was seeing on a continuing basis. The great thing is God answered. The bad thing is I was not prepared to see what I was about to walk through. I did not expect the disillusion, the shock, the pain. I did not expect the revelation to require so much of myself and my family. I didn't realize with the answered prayer, came alot of changes in our lives.

While going through the process, there were many times I wished he had not opened my eyes, it would have been so much easier on me. He could have just gave me contentment and covered my eyes to things. He could have just gave me peace that overrides uneasiness. He could have just left me where I was.

But thank God, he did not. That's what I can say now, almost 9 months after the revelation. I have spent many months confused, angry, and could not believe he would remove us from our church and friends. I could not understand! But walking this path, has brought TRUST. I had to trust him even if I didn't understand him or his plan for our family. And if you remember, that was my word for the year, TRUST!

I am now able to see that he wants so much more for me and my family and that this church would not allow us to become what he wanted. We were too comfortable, surrounded by friends and family. We had put to much trust in our pastor's words and not fully looked at his actions. We had overlooked glaring signs, that the focus on making disciples had been lost. We fell for the excitement of a new church building and all the bells and whistles, but thankfully God caused a stirring in our hearts that things were just not right. Therefore the prayer for wisdom and clarity was spoken and God was ready to remove our blinders. The funny thing is, we weren't.

So we have spent a lot of time waiting....and waiting....and waiting. Now here we are at the end of the year, with God bringing healing and restoration to our family. He had laid a particular church on my heart earlier in the summer, but I would need conformation from him before I would speak it or even visit. At first, I was angry that no conformation was coming, I was becoming anxious. So I made myself let it go....until the day before Thanksgiving.

Dennis had one last stop before vacation and you guessed it, it was that church. God allowed the pastor to be there late. He even told Dennis he was lucky he was there, he was getting ready to leave and the offices were closed. This had nothing to do with luck, but had everything to do with God and his timing. Dennis was able to have a great conversation with him and felt an instant friendship with him. Dennis was so excited at how God had revealed himself with this "lucky meeting".

Needless to say, I was overjoyed with the confirmation. I wished it had been sooner, but it was perfect timing. We began visiting Ridgedale Baptist, a little over a month ago now, and we are all at peace. We feel at home, we are healing and thriving. Our minds are being renewed and we feel excitement at the possibilities of ministry.

I would not wish our journey on others and I wished I had not had to make the journey myself. But I am so thankful that God's plans for us are more than we can imagine....

. When you are confused and don't understand, he can be TRUSTED. When you are angry and anxious, he can be TRUSTED. God can be TRUSTED in all things.

Window Shopping

2010-06-24T09:34:00.002-04:00

Well the bedroom is painted, I still need to paint the door and install the new knob, but the major painting is finished for a few days anyways. But today is not beginning with painting.....I'm so happy!

Today is window shopping day. I am looking for 2-30 inch old windows, with 6 or 9 panes. I have had a vision from the beginning of how I want my headboard to look and now I just have to find them. So today, Dad is coming in and we are going window shopping, He really does not want me to go alone to some of these places that sell really old dilapidated windows. So its just me and Dad today...I so love him in retirement. Its so fun to see how he is handling his time off, I thought he may become a little depressed, but he's far from it. He of course planted his huge garden and has to pick produce everyday at this point, besides the caring of the garden. Then he loves to go and go and go. Its not unusual to just hop in the car for short overnight and day trips, he loves to travel.

Oh, yeah Dad got a dog. Not any ole dog, but a miniature schnauzer. Her name is daisy. She is black, small, fluffy and so very spoiled. I was never allowed an inside animal while I was growing up, so everyone was surprised when Daisy was brought into our family. Dad loves her and takes her wherever he can and Daisy adores my dad, she even hangs onto his pants leg when he is leaving. So I have a new baby sister and her name is Daisy. I always wanted a sister, I didn't know I would have to wait almost 42 years for one.

Sierra is doing well. She is now 3 months along and her belly is showing. We went to the doctor last week and got our first glimpse of the baby. Its heart beat was strong and very fast, its surreal to see your baby growing her baby. This adventure is flying by, just 6 more months and he/she will be here. So we are well on our way of getting things ready for its arrival, we cannot wait.

So yes, life is messy and unorganized at the moment, but it does have blessing upon blessing included in it. And for that reason alone, I will choose to focus on the abundance of blessings and close my eyes to the mess. Life just seems to work out better that way,

Yippee! More painting, NOT

2010-06-23T09:20:00.002-04:00

I hate painting! But I forget that I hate painting, until my painting clothes are on and the brush is in my hand. It is so boring, takes to long and you have to be tooo careful. I always end up with more on me and everything around me than the wall being painted. When this remodel began, I didn't even consider the amount of painting that was going to be required, it may have changed my mind.

But now, we are in the thick of things and there is no getting around the fact, that it has to be done. And I guess the fact, that I'm home all day just means it's my job. I have already done several rooms and I am coming up on the last several painting projects. Maybe that's why I am in such a funk. I have been trying to live in a mess for over a month and then you add in painting, and this is one momma that is not happy.

I am overloaded and overwhelmed at the moment. I need my not-so-normal life to get back to normal. I long to walk down the hallways without kicking hardwood boxes and I would love to enjoy my back porch and garden, but the sawdust and tools leave no where to sit and messy feet. And if you have followed my blog for any length of time, you know that my back porch and garden are my personal sanctuary where I can escape and no one can find me (or at least, that's what I tell myself).

So you can imagine, how great my mood is at the moment. But I am going to suck it up and get this crap (sorry) finished. Because until it is all cleaned up, I am going to feel overwhelmed and out of sorts. That's just my personality, I like things organized and in its place. My labler and organizational supplies are my best friends.

This too shall pass, and leave behind shiny cherry floors and newly painted walls. I just pray that it passes as quickly as possible!!!!!

Remodeling Lisa

2010-06-21T14:47:00.004-04:00

Who ever said remodeling sounds fun, sure has never remodeled before. It is stressful, its messy and it seems never ending. How come everything has to look awful before the beautiful can emerge? That's the question, I'm dealing with at the moment in several areas of my life, the house and our church journey. With remodeling, comes change and transition and my personality does not lend its self very easily to either of them. I believe that's what God is trying to teach me, change and transition is inevitable, it does happen, we just have to TRUST (remember this is my word from God for this year) him through it. When its ugly, when it's anxiety producing, when it just plain hurts.

It's especially hard, when you loved where you were. When you were comfortable and cozy surrounded by all the people you love and that love you. When you seem to be in your sweet spot.....that's when it is hard. When everything seems to be in place and you look around and you are content. Maybe that's the problem, maybe when we get to that place, we don't chase God as hard as we do, when we are uncomfortable.

Maybe that's why he changes things before we get too far from him. Maybe when we become lax with our surroundings, he needs to stir things up just a little to bring us back to his feet. He knows what it will take for each one of us to run hard after him and he loves us so much that he will use whatever it takes and most of the time, we do not like what it takes.

But this change, and my life has been full of them recently it seems, is different. He did not have to run after me, or change my focus, he just needed to change my surroundings. Which is a relief, because God knows, he has had to use many situations before in my life to get my attention.

This time I was praying for clarity and wisdom. I knew something wasn't right, my spirit was just not at peace and I knew I needed discernment. And as God has always operated in my life, he was faithful to give me exactly the amount of clarity and wisdom, to keep me from entering this life changing season, kicking and screaming. In fact, I didn't say much at all. I quietly accepted what he had to say, and went with it. I don't like it, it does not make things easier. But if I need things to be ugly and messy for a season, to get to the other side of the promise land, I'm willing.

I'm willing to endure the remodeling he is requiring of my spiritual life. Cause just like my home, it eventually comes together, into something cleaner, brighter, simpler, it just becomes more real. He is decluttering my life of unnecessary baggage and junk. He has made me empty some things into bags marked goodwill (given to others, so they can grow) and Trash (simply things that no longer have a place in my life).

What is left, I will continue to carry until he grows it for his Glory or asks me to dump it. He knows what is best for me, he knows what the finished product will look like and he knows how he intends to use me, my heart and my home. So each one of them is open to him. So come on in Jesus, I have the hammer and paint brush. We both have a big job ahead of us, everything will either be torn down or made more beautiful, I am at peace with either.

Renovations in Life

2010-05-21T08:53:00.004-04:00

We are embarking on renovations of our home. It has been a while since we have done any major changes and at this point it is beginning to show. So we figure, why not renovate our home while God is renovating our entire life.

First will be the floors, we will be tackling hardwood this weekend. After many weeks of research and shopping we have settled on Cherry Oak. So this weekend, the living room, dinning room and hallway shall be renewed. Later, will come the office and both sets of steps (we've already bought the rest and it is occupying our back porch, which makes it hard to use)will get renewed as well.

There is a specific set of guidelines to be applied when installing hardwood, just as there is specific set of guidelines to be applied when living the christian life. There is steps, there is order to the process.

Step 1- Tear up and discard old flooring (carpet)

Step 2- Screw down and re-enforce the joints

Step 3- Covering with felt paper (to help with moisture and sound)

Step 4- Installation of Hardwood

As we begin this process, I can't help but to recognize the parallel to our life at this moment.

We feel as if the whole top layer of our life has just been ripped up and discarded, which will happen with our carpet. Then he is using his WORD to re enforce our joints, just as the screws will do in our flooring. Then HE will apply his PEACE, which will serve as our felt paper and then he will top us off with STRENGTH which will be the foundation we will build upon. We will be RENEWED!

We are excited and looking forward to new floors, but we are not excited about moving the furniture and the mess it is going to create before we are finished. But as with life, renewal cannot come unless demolition occurs first.

So we will TRUST that the demolition of our life will be over soon and we will come out of this with more of the WORD, PEACE, STRENGTH and RENEWAL.

Ran Over....

2010-05-20T10:00:00.004-04:00

What happens when you are living in the will of God and then it happens? The "it" is a bus that you find yourself under, one that you didn't even see coming. This bus is so heavy with feelings that you just want to get out from under it, as quickly as possible.

When this bus, is driven by people that you trusted, supported and had faith in, it just makes looking in the drivers seat that much harder. But we have taken a long and painful hard look at the driver and all of the passengers that are aboard this bus and we are hurt and saddened.

We have had to reconsider what is TRUTH? How important is it to us as a family? Does the lack of it, present a problem for us? Can you trust the people that are not concerned with the whole truth? Can Truth be conveniently swept under the rug if we choose to ignore it? Can our family be thrown under the bus, unfairly and still behave in a christian manner?

That seems to be the real question in this situation.Can our family handle this situation with Grace? Can we extend grace, even when it has not been extended to us? Will what others think, control us? What are the rumors? What if the Truth is not told? What if we are unfairly judged, our integrity and character questioned? What if this situation has taken on a whole life of its own and others think they know the truth? What if they are wrong, very wrong?

Can our family be OK with all of these questions and trust that God knows the situation intimately and he is in complete control? Even when it is painful, even when the ripples are going to be felt even beyond our own family. When the decisions we are faced with will bring changes to the people around us, and they aren't even aware that a situation exists.

This is where my family and all of our focus has been for the past 3 weeks. To say we are emotionally and mentally drained, would be an understatement. Our family is holding up the best that it can in this situation we find ourselves in. We were Strong as a family, we are treading through this as a family and we will come out of it stronger as a family. We will also come out of it with scars, deep scars. But God is our HEALER, and we TRUST him to do what is best for our family. We TRUST that in time, the scars will lessen and the numbness will subside.

And until then, I will choose to focus on:

All that you think you've given up or sacrificed or put up with or taken or been deprived or suffered unrighteously, He will take glorious care of ........in due time. He will lift you up, make things right, and make the TRUTH known. He delights in exonerating His humble servants, in justifying His righteous followers.(excerpt from Elizabeth George).

And this:

God is in Control----everything will be all right!

Feeling full of loose ends

2010-05-18T19:22:00.004-04:00

What happens when you life is full of loose ends when each situation presented, doesn't get resolved or worked through and accepted? I don't know either, that's why I'm asking.

Life over the last year has been very hectic and life changing for our family. I don't mean little things, I mean life milestones have happened one on top of another, with no room to breathe in between. Then the everyday situations pile on top of those and so on and so on. Till you are on the bottom of the pile and can't move because of the heaviness of the feelings.

That's where I am right now. I feel bogged down, depressed, cornered,and claustrophobic. I feel as if my personal boundaries have been crossed, even though I don't even remember where they began. I feel as if I can't breathe from all the spaces being filled and my mind is turning against me and saying "NO MORE, ENOUGH ALREADY".

I often ed wondered what my life would be like, when my children would become self-sufficient and practically on their on. This was not what I had thought or imagined. It's not Great, but its not bad either and that's the problem. I don't want to settle for just somewhere in the middle. I want to know that each day, I tend to the most important priorities in my life, with the greatest importance and the greatest blessings. I do not want to continue to use my time and energy for just good stuff. I want it to count towards the most important.

This is wear burn-out and being overwhelmed meets real life. This is where we stand back and evaluate our choices and make some tough decisions. Where do I want to go, what do I want to accomplish and How do I want to feel? These are tough questions, when you don't like change and you really like being in control.

It's time for me to re-evaluate my life.It's time to let stuff go and time to bring the most important things to me back in line with what God has blessed my life with. Starting with my relationship with him, who is He to me? What does he want from me? What will it look like?

All I know for sure is, He is chasing me. He loves me and wants me to let go of everything hindering me from a closer relationship with him. He has given me clarity on relationships, people and ministry. What they are and what they are not. So my first priority is growing closer to God, allowing him to show me what needs to be seen and allowing him to trim me and the areas of my life, that is in desperate need of a clipping.

Then my marriage is a very close 2ND. Children, work, responsibilities and ministry are all teaming for our attention. They are loud and they are sometimes obnoxious. They are never patience and self sufficient. But somewhere in all of that is "us". We have not been allowed much leeway with that word in the last several years of our marriage. Our relationship has taken the back seat too many times, it has sat there quietly, waiting on "us". Now is the time to bring "us" back to the top of the list, we need to dust it off and welcome it back. We need to spend more time together alone, we need to communicate without being interrupted and every one Else's needs are not always more important at the moment. We need to focus on each other and give the time and attention to our marriage that we both deserve. So in second place goes "Us"!

Our family will be placed next. Because if our marriage is not strong, just how strong is our family. We need to focus on adult relationships with our grown children, we need to learn what this new season will look like for us. We want a God centered, Godly marriage and Godly family to offer our new addition in several months. We want to welcome him/her into the healthiest family possible.

So there is the top priorities of my life and everything else will just have to wait. I need to focus on the main blessings in my life, the things that God has commanded me to tend to. Then there will be time for other things to filter back into my life, but I need to make sure that they began at number 4 and never higher.

We're Pregnant!!!!! 5/17/2010

2010-05-17T21:35:00.004-04:00

No not me, but my daughter Sierra is making us grandparents. We shall be called "Nonna & Big Daddy", unless this child decides different I guess. Sierra and Bill decided to tell us on Mothers day. I was handed a card and a beautiful orchid, then I was handed a bag and another card, when I opened it, it began with Nanna (she couldn't find a nonna) and inside the bag was an I love grandma and I love Grandpa bib, onsies and a jar of baby food.

Sierra is 7 weeks today. Our little one should resemble the photo above. Can't you already see the resemblance? Isn't that the cutest embryo, you have ever seen? Our family addition should arrive around Jan 3, 2011, and we can't wait.

She was thinking she was surprising me, but the surprise was, God had already told me and prepared me that morning during church service. So instead of having to figure it out and then being surprised, I could just be excited about the news and offer my congratulations to Sierra and her Baby daddy.

So the next generation has begun. He or she is being knit together in her mothers womb, isn't that just incredible! I can' tell you what it feels like to watch your child carrying her own child. There is just no words and I don't think it has fully sunk in just yet.

I am trying to take every bit of this in. I'm trying to stay focused. I'm trying to discipline myself to not start buying. Have you seen the cool things for babies that wasn't even thought of, when I had little ones, or how about all those cute clothes? I'm trying to not let this take over my life, but its hard. I am so full of anticipation for the future, I'm excited to see how this will change my daughter. I'm also wondering how this will change me, will I be a cool hip Nonna or a old-embarrassing Nonna?

Will it be a boy or a girl? Will we be sending announcements for Josiah or Ella? Will we be incorporating pink or blues in the room, the clothes, the decorations? All these questions will be answered in due time, and really the answers make no difference. I'm going to be a Nonna and that's all that matters!

With this change coming into our lives, it is making me focus on my priorities. What is needed in my life and what isn't? What needs to stay and what has to go? What kind of Nonna do I want to be and what do I need, to get there before this little one arrives? How will this change my relationship with my daughter? Where are my boundaries and how do I make sure not to cross them? These are all important questions, that are floating through my mind lately.

All I know is, God is working miracles among our family and I don't want to miss a thing.

It's Monday, where did that weekend go?

2010-01-18T19:52:00.003-05:00

I will begin with a rundown on the weekend, that seemed to just pass me right by. Friday was almost an all girl day for me. Mom and dad invited me to lunch at their favorite hang out, the Cracker Barrel. After a great lunch and some great conversation, me and mom sent dad on his way. We then proceeded to shop and shop and shop somemore. Since Mom began working at Walmart, she doesn't get much time off and when she does, my retired father seems to always have some plans, for them, haha. But not Friday, we spent some time in her favorite stores, Ross...T.J. Max and the Home Good Stores. We were able to find some small treasures that we had to bring home and add to our collection, but we had some fun, together. We were even able to stop into Bill and Sierra's new pad, they were excited to share with mamaw the blessings that God had brought there way, since becoming the ambassadors in Tn of Eric & Melissa Weber's. The Weber's moved to Nicaragua the first of January to begin their journey with Open Eyes Ministry. God has big plans for their family there and he decided to share that blessing with Sierra & Bill as well. But anyway back to story....we visited and then we shopped some more. We had a great day, together!

Saturday was an at-home day for me. Dennis and Dustin had a job that morning and then Dennis headed to the men's conference at Sevier Hieights Baptist Church. He went with several men from church. He come home full of THE WORD, questions and enthurisam. He brought with him lots to tell and I just loved his excitement.

Sunday came early, and we were ready for Church. We are learning about what the favor of the lord is and what it is not. It is a great sermon series, to remind us that the favor of the Lord, is his presence in our life. After great fellowship (I just love my friends at church) we went to the Cracker Barrel once again. It just happens to be Sunday Chicken and that is one of my favorites. Then we braved the rain to get home and change into our pajamas. You heard right, we were in our pajamas by 2 in the afternoon. We cuddled up in bed and watched the movie " The curious case of Benjamin Button" is was a great movie, that made you think about the aging process and living through it. After the movie, Dennis started a fire, we cooked supper together and just relaxed in front of the fireplace. It was a good ending to a very good day.

That brings us to Monday, which started out all right, but seems to be ending not so well. Our Surround sound system went out last week and we happened to pick another one up last night. So Dustin has been working quite a bit on that today, he decided to run all new wire and all. Then just now, he comes up and tells me, afte he had run everything and worked so hard, that the sound is now fading in and out. He was not pleased and I can't say I blame him. It's just like life, to hand you crap, after you have given it all you got. So I better run and see if I can figure out anything, before he goes mad and rips everything back out. Just another day in the Johnson household!!!!

TRUST.....is the word!

2010-01-14T11:42:00.002-05:00

Trust....
have confidence or faith in
reliance: certainty based on past experience;
believe: be confident about something

This is the word God has given me for the year 2010. With the changes he brought into my life in 2009, I know I can trust him with teaching me new ways to "trust" him, even more. In years past,this word would have brought me fear of the unknown. What exactly was I going to have to trust him for? What was coming my way? How far out of my box, was he going to take me? But....

He is taking me new places, bringing new people through my life, changing my routine and stretching my heart for people. This is going to be good, I can just feel it! He has been so faithful in the past, when it would have been easier for him and me, if he had just passed me up and found someone else without so many issues. But he didn't pass me up, he slowed down, led me through some things that would teach me more about him and his character, which leads me here, right now.

So I'm walking this year, learning to trust him on a more intimate basis. We are both ready to take this relationship to the next level. So for my friends out there, if you see me acting strangely, opening my mouth more often or wandering farther and farther from my box, its OK. I'm just following my Jesus as close as I can, and I might trip over his feet sometimes. If I stumble, just pick me up and dust me off and send me on my way.

2009 in Review....Part #2

2010-01-12T14:04:00.003-05:00

Well we got the biggest changes out of the way yesterday, did'nt we? So lets touch on a few little ones that were tucked in and between the biggies of the year. Well, lets be honest, this one is also a somewhat biggie, for me, that is. I was pulled and pushed out of my comfort zone, in a big way this past year. God had shared his plans for a women's ministry, called Seasons, with me early last year. I grabbed pen and paper and wrote down his thoughts on the subject, then I handed them into my pastor, very relunctuntly. I was all for getting the plan on paper but I was so not ready to step into a leadership role. No way, No How! Me and God even had lengthy discussions about the plan, but I informed him that this was not the time for me to focus on something that big and that uncomfortable. Besides I had Sierra getting married and Dustin graduating in the next upcoming months and I just could not do it all. So it did not bother me in the least that I never heard back from leadership about the women's ministry. I was totally fine with it, in fact.

That is until the wedding was over. Then just a few days after, God came calling again in an email addressed to me. Seems that God had been talking to a couple of different women in the church about the women's ministry and my name was mentioned. A meeting was planned and I was invited to attend. I intended to just sit in on the meeting and see what happened....Well, you guessed it! I was called upon to share God's plan that he had already given me with the group, and I did, without much expectation. But the Women loved the idea and the "Northstar Season's Women's Ministry" was born. Overnight, we went from no women's ministry to a fast rolling ministry that could'nt be slowed down. I can't tell you what it feels like to see something that was an exchange between you and God, wrote on paper. Then to watch him breathe life into it and it becomes something so much bigger, than you can imagine. It grows hands and feet and enters into other women's lives and all I can do is set back and watch and think "Thank you God, for using me in such a small way. So God pulled me out of my comfort zone and plopped me smack dab on the Women's leadership team. I can't say I'm real comfortable with the situation, but I am getting there. God is teaching me, that with real growth comes some growning pains. So I plan on just popping a asprin for the pain and get on with it. He's not going to slow down and I don't want to be lagging behind.

Another change that came our way, with the marriage of Sierra came a some what empty nest. Dustin still lives with us, but he also has college, a job, and Mikall. So he tends to stay very busy with his life, which in turns leaves us with a lot of alone time. We are taking every opportunity given, to dive right in and not look back with any regrets. We have worked very hard to get here and we want to use it wisely. God has brought some wonderful couples into our lives and they help to fill it up with dinners, dates & fellowship. We are having fun and can't wait to see what God has in store for us as a couple.

So as you can see, my word for 2009 was "Change" and boy did it live up to its name. Our lives changed in dramatic ways last year and we look forward to 2010 with a lot of anticipation. I have been praying about my word for 2010. I think God has given it to me already, but I just want to speak with him a little more before I share it. Hopefully, in the next day or so....I will speak out and share it.

P.S. The photo above is Marisa from the Christian Radio station Love 89.1. She just happens to be on our leadership team and also represents our womens ministry as "Mother Nature" but even better than that she is a very dear friend of mine. Listen to her daily and she will just bring a smile to your face and some encouragement to your heart.

What a year!!!!!!!!!! 2009 in Review...part#1

2010-01-11T09:23:00.008-05:00

Well 2009 is gone and 2010 has burst on the scene. But before I fully enter into 2010mentally I need to finish up 2009 with respect to the year. The last time I allowed myself to pour my thought onto the pages of this blog was in March of 09. I had just returned from New Orleans and was coming closer and closer to the inevitable. There was going to be a wedding and my Sierra was going to be the one in the white gown. That thought and emotions begin the process of silence for me. There was nothing to say, life was happening, whether I really wanted it to or not. I decided to live fully in the season that was involving me with all of its raw emotions and pain (my pain). And when you are just holding on to the hem of Jesus's robe to get through the days, there is not much time to put words to the life changes 2009 brought my way.

So I shut up and let life have its way with me. I was tossed, turned and devoured on some occasions. But. That is the real word for me, But. But, I came out of the season, still standing. I was wobbly and unbalanced, but I was standing upright! My mind was numb and I could not get a firm handle on my thoughts or emotions at the time. But now, God has allowed some time of mental changes to take place, to make some sense of that jumbled season of life for me. I think he is also giving me the words and the permission to speak again. So here I am today, a little less wobbly, better than before and ready to put the lessons he has taught me over the last several months to use. So I will just start with the obvious.....

Sierra did get married and she was beautiful. Bill is one lucky man to have her. She will tell you herself, I think, that she was not fully prepared for marriage. But married is where she finds herself, none the less. So God has took her marriage and is using it to prepare her. He is allowing her to see someone Else's interest that is just as important, as hers. He is showing her how to love and support her man and he is teaching her the real lesson....Don't try to change your partner, start with changing yourself and your attitude. She is maturing quickly and I love the way God used this to change me. Sierra is going to be fine, she doesn't need me to protect her, from herself or the world. She has Jesus and he is the best bodyguard a girl can have. Sierra loves Bill and Bill adores Sierra and it makes my heart skip a beat now. They are one and God has gotten them into the first leg of their journey together. He has opened doors of great surprises and blessings for them and he has allowed us the opportunity to witness them. So here I stand smiling, hands-in-the-air and cheering for them. Thank you God, for changing ME!!!

Dustin.....what can I say?........He graduated!!! Everyone that knows our family closely, knows the struggle this kid, of mine has had. School and Dustin never went in the same sentence. I really think he is allergic to school work and anything to do with school. It made him miserable and in turn made our entire family miserable. But, there is that word again. But he settled down in his last year and did do much better....not graduating had something to do with it, I'm sure. Never the less, he settled down and got it done. Our entire family, including Mikall and her family celebrated with Dustin in finishing this somewhat miserable season in his life. But the cheers were loud, as he walked across that stage, I know he was proud by look on his face and if he could have seen mine, he would have seen the same thing, except little tears were thrown in. We were finished with this race, God put us on 10 years prior. We had cried, thrown fits, yelled and anything else you can think of....BUT..we were finished in the end. It felt great to him I'm sure and it did to me too. I also felt a relief, a relief that it was over. But, the only feeling that was overwhelming was gratefulness and thankfulness to God. He promised at the beginning and through the worst days, that we would be blessed in the end, for our faithfulness to the task, he set before us. And, that night, I could hear him say, 'it is finished, now rejoice!". Now, believe this or not, Dustin is still in school. He began College in the fall and with focus and determination he has finished up his first semester with good grades. Now, that is God, right there!!!!! We are so proud of him and can't wait to see what God has in store for him. But I do know that God is faithful to the end, to any task he sets before you.

So this past year, brought 2 major life changes to my life. My daughter became a wife and left our home and my son graduated from high school. The later change meant even bigger changes for me, my life as a full-time homeschooling mom, came to a end. A end, that I was so looking forward to, but that brought with it a pink slip of its own. My job for the last 10 years was teaching my children and that was taken away. It shocked me to the reality that there was no more curriculum fairs, No more searching for the perfect books or supplies, No more lesson planning for hours upon hours. These things became part of life for me, for many years. Just like when august rolled around, all the new school supplies, made my mouth water....haha. Homeschool moms know exactly what I mean!!!! Now that season is gone and God is erasing the bad memories and exaggerating the best memories of our homeschool season. So this past August rolled around and I didn't even buy a pencil or pack of paper, which was weird. I used the summer to clean out our Homeschool closet and find new homes for some great school supplies and prepare myself for the changes, fall was going to bring to me.

Well I think I have said enough for today. Those things above were my 2 largest life changes for 2009, but don't believe those were it. There were many little things tucked in and between the biggies. Over the next several days, I am letting all the words I couldn't speak in 2009, speak for themselves. So, there may be many new posts over the next several days, who knows. When the words want to be written they shall be!

Celebrations, Death & Weddings

2009-03-02T09:35:00.004-05:00

Well, I've finally found some time to blog. Things have been hectic around here lately, and I'm just trying to keep up. Here's a quick rundown on the life of Lisa Johnson in the last couple of weeks.

Worked on putting Sierra's shower together for March 28Th. Me and mom found the right invitations, that I had in my head. Purchased the dinnerware and decorations. Purchased the items for games and planned the menu. Now just pray that me and mom don't lose our minds.

Our adopted grandmother passed. We had been assigned Grace & C.T. Haun as our home bound couple around 8 years ago, when Dennis was a deacon at Grace. We fell in love with them. They were a true inspiration of what a great marriage looks like after 60+ years. Even after we left grace and they were assigned another deacon, we could not walk away from them. We continued to call on a regular basis and visited with them, we were witnesses to new great-grand children, new marriages and illnesses. They watched our children grow to adulthood. Grace was anticipating Sierra's wedding and they were going to be there. But God had different plans. Grace suffered a stroke and eventually died after a couple of days. We were shocked, we were sure C.T. would pass before her, he is in worse health. Now C.T. is lost without her and asks is "Grace really dead?" Our heart is breaking for him. So a funeral and burial was part of our life recently.

The wedding is coming along and will be here before we know it. Our life is overwhelming at this moment and we are exhausted. Sierra is stressed and is definitely letting us know it. We are having trouble being a part of her life at this time. So we are just praying for everything to happen as it should and that the relationship that our family has with her at the moment, becomes better after the wedding. This has definitely not been like "Father of the bride". So we are just holding on the best we can. Please pray for clarity and peace of mind for Sierra. Please pray for emotional protection for me and her father, we are shocked at her treatment of the people around her.

On to better things.....

Believe it or not, I just returned Saturday night from a week in New Orleans. Dad wanted to visit a long lost relative for his genealogy study and we decided to visit and attend mardigras. It was wonderful, the family we met was wonderful and welcoming to us, we spent alot of time with them. We attended the family oriented MardiGras and it was fun. We stood with thousands and acted like the beads were made of gold and we just had to have as many as we could get. We then made our way to the French Quarter, which I fell in love with. Small Cafes, specialty shops, cool artists selling their wares. We ate Beignets at the world famous "Cafe' Du Monde", they were wonderful and I had to bring the mix back home to share with the rest of the family. We shopped and ate and shopped and ate our way through New Orleans. My favorite souvenir was a cookbook my dad bought me that contains all the most popular recipes that were listed in the paper but was lost in Hurricane Katrina. I can't wait to try some of the recipes for Dennis. But my favorite part of the trip was the time spent with mom and dad. We had another great trip together and memories were made.

As you can see my life has been full of Celebrations, Adventures and death. But God is showing himself so faithful through it all. I just hope I can come out of the prewedding stage with some feelings left untouched. Its funny how circumstances can change everything around you and your just left standing their with your mouth hung open with a "what just happened" look on your face. 10 weeks are all that are left, pray for them to fly by quickly. Dennis has been hurt deeply by his daughter with her lack of respect, and it is sad for me to see him this way. He is just ready for it to be over with. So please pray for him also, this is tough on him, even if he doesn't outwardly show it to others. In just one short word, PRAY for our family.

Bring on the SUN

2009-02-07T10:09:00.004-05:00

Today is Gorgeous, the snow is melting fast and hopefully it will be 60 degrees today. I need the sunshine, it always makes me feel better. I am going to soak up all I can today.

Dennis is free this whole weekend, so we are going to enjoy it. First we are going to go see "Yes, Man" at the movies for the afternoon. Then we are headed to our friends Kendra & Dennis's for dinner and to celebrate Essie's birthday. Then we have a little work to do. The men are going to retire to the men cave and the girls are going to order all the flowers for the wedding. We're excited, this should be a fun evening.

Tomorrow is church day, so I know that's going to be good. Then we are open the whole rest of the day. I have no clue, what we will get into. But the weather is going to be beautiful, so we will just have to see where the day takes us.

Life is a Roller Coaster

2009-02-06T09:28:00.004-05:00

Well, where do I start? Life has been happening so fast, that I haven't felt like writing. I have been just trying to keep my head up and not let all the impeding events overwhelm me. I'm at a place in life that is confusing, exciting, and new. It is taking me by surprise some days and I am learning how to deal with the feelings that accompany this new adventure as they come. So I have been trying to use my energy wisely, because I just don't know what the next feelings are going to require of me.

Besides learning to deal with my emotions, on a somewhat adult level. Things have been busy here with the mundane and several highlights thrown in. Some of the highlights:

All the girls (me, mom, sierra & makall) went to dinner and saw the Broadway version of Hairspray. It was wonderful, you just wanted to sing and dance.

Our girls bible study began the new "Esther" study. We have new faces in our group and the study has been good. The routine of every Thursday with the girls and lunch out with Richelle has been wonderful for me. I love routine, it keeps me sane.

Our bible study girls went for lunch last week at LuLu's tearoom. We ate in the Elvis room and it was wonderful to share this place with the girls.

Dennis, Me and Rick (he joined Firepro about 3 months ago and works with Dennis everyday) went to see the new movie "Taken" last Friday, it was a great movie. And on a side not, Dennis has found something cool with his friendship with Rick. They are good friends, and I love seeing Dennis interact with him. They seem to have a lot of fun, and he really knows his stuff. Which in turns helps make Dennis's job a lot easier.

I spent a day in Kentucky with mom and dad on some genealogy hide-n-seek. A member of our family was murdered and we went looking for the newspaper accounts. We didn't have any luck, but the day was good. We had lunch and me and mom had a blast just being silly, while dad was doing all the work. By the way, my dad was laid off last month, he is having a hard time getting used to being home and stuck in the house because of the weather. We have had breakfasts together and it has been fun to spend time with him.

So as you see, I've had some fun. But the work is really amping up on the wedding preparations. I am in the stages of planning the bridal shower. I am gathering addresses and getting invitation ready to be sent. We are going for dinner and birthday party tomorrow at Kendra's. Kendra is doing the flowers, so we will be finalizing the flower order tomorrow and getting that out of the way. Time is flying faster and faster. Bill and Sierra have reserved their new apartment and Bill will be moving in April 1st, so they are in the process of finding furniture for their new abode. As you can see, I can no longer pretend that this is so far away, that I don't have to worry about it. It is coming fast and so are all the emotions that come with it.

As if all of this stuff was not enough, I am in the process of taking my health seriously. I am disciplining my self on taking my medication and just dealing with the side affects daily. The medicine makes my sugar drop significantly at least once a day, and when that happens it makes me feel lousy. Then after my sugar rebounds it leaves me tired for the rest of the day. So at this point, I have half a day of energy and motivation and half a day of tiredness. Hopefully, I can catch it better, before it drops and just adjust my lifestyle accordingly. I have began eating breakfast and lunch everyday, which is huge for me. I am trying to deal with this disease head on. Pray for me, I do not like to have to do something. I do not like having no choice.

Life is coming fast and I am trying to hang on for the ride. So if you see me out and about and my hair is all over my head and I look confused, please don't be scared. I am on this roller coaster called "Life" right now and some days I don't even know where I am at. But if I'm naked and mumbling, please grab me a robe and take me home.

SELF-Focused is my word for the year.

2009-01-08T10:20:00.004-05:00

Yes, I really mean self-Focused. I know the connotation this word usually holds and usually the word "bitch" is sometimes included with the meaning.

But I am going to give a new meaning to this word this year. I am going to be focused on myself, not exclusively of course. But I am going to spend more time on myself this year. See what things I really want in my life and the things I don't. I'm going to spend a lot of time taking care of myself both personally and health wise.

** I need to listen to my body and make the changes it's asking me too, I can't ignore it any longer. I'm going to have to make my health a #1 priority this year. This means taking the time from other things and other people and devote a little bit back to myself. I need to take the time to plan my meals, plan my exercise, etc. I need to make myself important for a change.

**I need to listen to my heart and make the changes it's asking me too. I need to follow my heart on some things, I may attempt to do. Instead of listening to my head. Sometimes I can let my head talk me out of or into things I should not be doing.

** I need to listen to my head and filter out the negative and usher in more positive notes. I need to quit jumping to conclusions. I need to stop worrying about things that may not happen and I need to stop letting my thoughts run away from me. I need to quit planning for the things that may happen in the future. I need to live in the present and keep my thoughts there also.

**I need to listen to my emotions, but I don't need to let them rule my life. I need to walk through them either with joy or sadness. I need to feel everything as it happens. I need to deal with emotions that are not pleasant or comfortable. I need to stop pretending I'm not feeling something. I need to find words to give my emotions their say, so they can change me and get on with it. Even though a circumstance or season of life brings confusion and sadness, its not over, it wont end this way. This also means I need to look for moments of happiness, joy and contentment. I need to run through the sadness and mosey through the happiness. I need to allow myself to grieve stages, and quite trying to make myself be strong. I just need to feel things.

**I need to listen to my spiritual side instead of my legalistic side. I need to relax in my relationship with Jesus. I need to stop putting boundaries on him and myself. I need to tear down some walls, I have put in place to protect myself, or so I think. I need to open my spiritual mind and see where it might just take me.

So as you can see this word "Self-focused" will be used differently this year in my life. I am going to use this year to get to know me, which can be a little scary. What if I don't like myself very much? Well, we shall see.

My baby is now 18, and it begins again......

2009-01-07T13:50:00.003-05:00

Dustin turned 18 on December 26Th. December 27Th begin the whole "18" year old attitude season anew in our home. I for one don't think we have had enough time to get through the previous "I'm 18" season, that Sierra presented us with. The mouth gets even "mouthier" the attitude becomes more "whatever" and the responsibility for themselves automatically becomes the #1 thing, even though they are living at home, driving vehicles covered on Dad's insurance and eating at the table of someone else. But they are on their own and we should not need to know where they are going, what time they will be home, or really anything for that matter.

This time, I do have to say has been easier on me. I am dealing with it better. I am letting go easier. But it still sucks!

Added to this new season with Dustin, we are gearing up for the biggest season in Sierra's life. We have under 5 months, until she walks down that isle. Things have fallen into place, but many little things need to be taken care of. So that will fill up the next coming months in the Johnson household.

My word for last year was "CHANGE" and it lived up to its name. Things are totally different than they were before. I lived through some new emotions, new adventures and new seasons. I come through them pretty well, but I'm feeling a little emotionally exhausted. This exhaustion is leading me to my new word for this new year. I will post about my word tomorrow and what it means for me and my year ahead.

Right now, I'm just going to enjoy my totally empty house. I am going to enjoy the quietness and the freedom from using my brain, just for a little while.

So get to thinking about your personal word for the new year. Let me know what it is and what it is going to mean for you. Lets encourage each other on this new road.

Wow, Christmas and New Years have passed..

2009-01-05T16:11:00.003-05:00

Christmas has come and gone, New Years day happened and disappeared quickly and somehow I didn't blog about either one. That's because since Thanksgiving, life has not slowed down for us and we are just now beginning to breathe again. It will be several more days until we can breathe easier and deeply again. But I would at least like to list the highlights from the last several weeks of holiday season, so in the coming years I can remember at least what wore us out.

Christmas Eve-we spent with mom and dad. We had chili and watched the Dark Knight.

Christmas Morning - Every one was here, we had a breakfast buffet, and opened gifts. Mikall joined our family this year, and we enjoyed sharing Christmas morning with her.

Christmas Evening- We joined the Johnson family for our annual Christmas dinner, gift exchange and dirty Santa. We had a good time and a lot of laughs.

Dec 27th- Dennis and Dustin attended our New Brother in laws- bachelor party.

Dec 28th- Dennis's Sisters Wedding rehearsal and rehearsal dinner at Calhouns.

Dec 31st- Both of us was exhausted so we just layed in the bed and watched the ball drop and then we immediately turned off the lights and rolled over. Yes, we are the partiers of the family.

Jan 1st- Bachalorette party for Missy. We enjoyed dinner at the Olive Garden and went to see "Four Christmas's" which was such a cute movie.

Jan 2nd- Time to decorate for the wedding reception.

Jan 3rd- Wedding day. 9am- until 11 at night. We danced, we singed, we ate and we smiled for pictures all day. We had a blast, but it is so nice, to be finished with the wedding and all the arrangements that come with it.

Now this is first day, after all the holidays and long weekends. I have spent most of the day cleaning and getting my home back in some kind of order. It didn't see the vacuum or duster near as much the last month.

I am in the Process of choosing my word for the new year. I plan on writing more about that tomorrow, when I have more time. Minnie has a doctor's appointment early in the morning and I have to see how that goes, then I can plan the rest of the day. But my goal for tomorrow is finish all the laundry and define my word.

So there you go, the very busy life and times of the Johnson's. Now things will slow down and I can get my focus back, I hope.

I Can't Wait!!!!

2008-12-11T11:12:00.004-05:00

Richelle and I are going to lunch at our old hangout, Calhouns. It's been many weeks since we have had our lunch/therapy sessions and I can definitely tell in my life.

I have missed the laughs, our kids are crazy. I have missed the encouragement, our kids are driving us crazy and I have missed someone just listening, because we fill as if we are going crazy.

So I am looking forward to lunch, it makes the whole day seem brighter, even though it is raining cats, dogs and I could have swore even a cow floated by several minutes ago. But the crazy thing, its suppose to be snowing tonight and we may even enjoy some on the ground.

But rain, nor snow will stop these two friends from enjoying a little sunshine together today.

Intertwined

2008-12-08T22:12:00.004-05:00

I'm sitting here alone. Dennis and Dustin have went to do a job. Sierra is at Bill's. I've watched a movie and some random TV and now I sit here in front of the computer bored.

When Dennis is not home after dark, my routine is thrown off. I don't know what to do with myself. During the day, I have lots of things to do, but at night, he's supposed to be here. Thankfully, there is not a lot of nights that he is away from home, and I'm glad, I think I would pull my hair out. The funny thing is, he says the very same thing, if I'm not here. He says he just wonders around the house like he is lost. It's funny, that after 23 years, you would think we would be kinda over each other. We would be into our own things and just exist together. But I think we are special.

Special as in "sick" and needs help or "sick" as in get over each other already! I'm so glad that the latter "sick" is our problem. We have been together so long and are so intertwined into each others lives, that we don't really know what to do without the other. When one or the other is away, the one left feels empty and disoriented. That means as we say goodbye, we are already looking forward to being back together, we endure the separateness as long as needed, but we are longing for each other and can't wait for it to be over.

I know that many people would say that we are codependent on each other and you know they would be right. I am at my most comfortable, when I'm with him. Even if we are at home, but not right beside each other, we know that we just have to look around and we would find the other.

I hope I never get over this "sickness" that God has blessed me with. I know what we have is very rare. I know that a lot of people pray for what we have. I know that many people have not been as blessed as us in their relationship. And even though I know all of this, this just seems natural to us. We don't know any difference, Thank God. I don't ever want to take this for granted, I want to appreciate everyday that God gives us together. So I will just sit here bored, think about him, turn on the heating blanket so his bed will be warm and wait. The wait is always worth it, fortunately.

Friends make everything better

2008-12-08T09:25:00.004-05:00

This weekend turned out very nice and it was very much needed. Saturday we went out with the whole family to chili's, it was nice to just sit back and let someone else cook and clean up.

Sunday morning came bright and early. The sun really fooled you until you went outside, it was freezing. Church was wonderful and very thought provoking, I love leaving church with something to think about. We have been studding a series called "30 days". If you had 30 days to live, what would you change or do differently? It really changes your perspective, to put life in those terms.

Since we didn't have Thanksgiving dinner together, I was sick remember, I decided to cook a scaled down Thanksgiving dinner for Sunday afternoon. All the kids and their significant others were here and dad was here, Mom had to work ( I hate her hours). We all ate until we were round and then everyone just kinda went off to another part of the house. After cooking (with Dennis's help) and cleaning up everything, I relaxed with the Sunday paper, while Dennis and Dad went to work on one of the trucks.

Bill and his family changed plans for his Birthday celebration from Saturday evening to Sunday evening, which caused a problem with our plans. We hated not being able to participate with his party, but plans had already been made. Dustin already had plans too, so he wasn't able to join the festivities. Mom and Dad were able to go and I trust they were great ambassadors for our family.

Our plans were of course to attend our small group Christmas dinner and gathering at Becky and Don's. Becky had decorated her tree wonderfully, the fireplace was glowing and the table was just beautiful. She sure knows how to make a presentation. The food was wonderful and the conversation was never-ending and you would have thought we were all drunk with the laughter. We had a great time with our friends.

Today I just plan on cleaning the bedroom and laundry room, both have kinda gotten out of control and it is driving me crazy. I need to run a little errand, but it's just too cold to go out of the house, maybe in the late afternoon, I will venture out.

I am in the mood to cook something, sweet, so I may also spend some time in the kitchen trying out a new recipe. I really don't know what today will bring, but I plan on enjoying all of it.

At least it's Friday

2008-12-05T08:25:00.003-05:00

I have been in and out of the house so much this week, that I haven't been able to really clean and organize this house and it's starting to get to me. So I think I will spend the day, cleaning which seems to be cathartic for me. As I clean my house, I also clean my cluttered mind and at the end of the day, I can just stand back and smile.

This weekend seems pretty busy and a whole lot of fun, at least I'm counting on it to be. Bill's birthday is Monday, but we are all meeting with his family Saturday night for dinner and then back to his house for cake and presents.

Sunday is church. Even though last Sunday was a wonderful day, I'm looking forward to getting back to church. Then for dinner, I am cooking a smaller version of a Thanksgiving feast, so we can enjoy a nice dinner together. Especially since I didn't get to enjoy the real Thanksgiving.

When the dinner is over and everything is cleaned up we get to head over to Becky and Don's. They are hosting our small group Christmas party. This is something we look forward to. We just love our small group and the fellowship with them is always great.

So I am looking forward to this weekend, it's going to be full of family and friends, just like I love it.

I'm headed off to sweep, mop, and vacuum this house, while I clean a couple of cobwebs out of the corner of my mind.

Some sweetness added to life

2008-12-04T20:09:00.001-05:00

Today was a sweet spot in my life. Our Thursday morning bible study group gathered at Brenda's house for some brunch and birthday festivities. Becky's birthday was yesterday and we just had to celebrate her 60 years on this earth. Brenda's house was so warm and welcoming, it was just nice to be inside of it, everything else was just icing on the cake.

I got to see into the life of Brenda. I have known her for over a year and know some things I couldn't share with others, but when you visit someones home you see more of them. Her walls were adorned with paintings, that she had done herself, they were great. I love to see people's creative sides on display. It lets you in on a little secret of their souls. She is very talented and I thank her for sharing her home, her kindness and her talent with me.

We spent the afternoon eating, celebrating, singing "Happy Birthday", twice. We didn't think once was enough but Becky did, lol. Becky's mother Eunice, was able to join us, which we were all wonderfully surprised with. She has been a part of many of our bible studies, but she has had knee replacement and hasn't been able to be a part of our group this last bible study. It was so good to see her, and she looked beautiful as usual.

It was such a sweet place to be, surrounded by friends, laughter and true friendship. I am so thankful that God allowed me such a sweet reminder of his goodness in my life.

The problem with life!

2008-12-03T12:34:00.003-05:00

I wished I could say, Thanksgiving went great for our family this year. But I can't! I can say, I now know why God changed our plans for a big extended family celebration into a small affair. I woke up Thursday morning, showered, got makeup on and was getting ready to celebrate Thanksgiving with the family at Ramseys, when something just didn't feel right. That feeling lasted all day and into the next, with vomiting, etc. I caught a bug and it wasn't going to let me go, until I had emptied my entire body of fluids, I know its a little too tmi, but its the truth. So my family went to eat without me and I laid in the bed and watched tv, between the many trips to the bathroom. Dustin spent the rest of the day at Makalls and Sierra spent most of the rest of the day with Bills family. So Thanksgiving did not turn out the way I thought it would, but it came and went regardless.

The rest of the long weekend went much better. We had some fun, we got some rest, went to the movies and Dennis also got some stuff done, that he needed to do. We really enjoyed the rest of the weekend, I just wished it had lasted longer.

Saturday, Sierra and I went to visit Missy and help her with the wedding gown. It is gorgeous and she is just beautiful in it. We tried some different punch recipes and decided on one for the reception. Then we went over all the centerpieces and all the other stuff overflowing from boxes in their living room. They are pretty much ready to get this party started. While we were at Missy's, Dennis and Bill spent time doing man things at Gander mountain. I think we all enjoyed our time doing our own thing.

Sunday morning, we were heathens and skipped church. I would like to say I felt guilty, but we had such a wonderful morning, I can't say that. It was nice to just get up late, eat some breakfast and spend some quality time together, which we really needed. Life is so busy at our house, the door just seems to revolve with people, right now. We spent the evening shopping for new office furniture for mom and dads and then we all went to dinner. It was a perfect way to end the weekend.

Monday morning, rolls around as they always seem to do and life just takes over, again. We were able to get our Christmas decorations out, tree up, lights on and then we just said, crap on it and went and watched tv. We really are not in the Christmas mood right now.

Tuesday rolled around and the trouble began. Dustin's truck stopped on him while on his way to work, so Dennis had to go meet him and have his truck towed to the shop. Problem (1). I had a doctor's appointment to have blood work done and just a little checkup, since I started my new medicine. I have been having problems with my feet for the last several months and xrays were ordered. Then I have been referred to a physical therapist for some treatment. If that doesn't work, then it has to do with my Diabetes, and more medicine will be needed for life(Problem 2). Dustin ends up having to drive the Precision truck to work and guess what, as he is coming home at 5, the phone rings. Dennis goes to meet him on Oakridge Hwy and the truck is also towed to the shop (problem 3). By this time, Dennis is NOT in a good mood, in fact he is downright irritable and MAD.

This also leads to Problem 4, there is several jobs to be done and the truck is not working, meaning jobs can not get done, meaning extra Christmas money is not coming, unless something happens very soon. I am trying not to be overwhelmed with the thought, but Christmas is looking drastically different for these Johnson's this year.

So as you can see, I haven't had a lot to be positive about the last several weeks. But God is in control and he has his plan in place. Please pray we will just be at peace with that plan. Things are not going as we would like, but they are going to go anyways, so we might as well find some kind of contentment in them.

This is definitely a year that has lived up to its name. CHANGE

A sleepless night turns into A nice day....

2008-11-14T22:34:00.003-05:00

At 2 A.M. I was awakened by Sierra. She was in terrible pain in her mouth again, she had her wisdom teeth removed several weeks ago. Her jaw was swollen and she was in tears. All signs pointed to an infection, again. So I pulled out her after-surgery medicine and made her take one. Then I sent her back to bed.

Morning then came early. Sierra was even more swollen and was in a lot of pain. So more pain medicine. She called into work and made an emergency dentist appointment. Luckly they got her in very early and it was infection. They had to open her up again and drain it out. They now have her on a high-dose antibiotics and percocet. She has slept the rest of the day and evening away. She is going to feel so much better tomorrow.

Bill was nice enough to get up early and take her to the dentist. Dennis and I already made plans, for the day and that helped out a lot. I rode to Chattanooga with Dennis today, and we had lunch at my favorite BBQ restaurant, Sticky Fingers. It was a nice relaxing ride, nice conversation and great food. I'm so glad I got to go with him.

This evening Dennis and Bill attended a men's fellowship on the new property. So that left Sierra sleeping and me by myself. So I fixed me something to eat and enjoyed the evening, watching movies, something I don't get to do very often. It was very nice, to just relax and unwind.

I also started a new bible study, today. Me and Richelle finally was able to pick one together, to work on during the holidays. We decided to study God's Freedom for us. I was able to finish 2 days this evening in the quiet. It was really good. I can't wait to get in the meat of it.

Tomorrow is firewood day. All the guys are going to cut up a lot of wood, that Dennis' friend has offered him. With the way we go through firewood in the winter, we really appreciate the offer, so our gang is going over in the morning to cut, split, load and haul home a lot of wood. YEAH

I'm going to spend the day grocery shopping and getting things together for Sierra's party Sunday evening. I think I'm going to fix Richelle's taco soup and grilled cheese for the guys lunch tomorrow, it's going to be cold so I hope it goes along way in warming them up.

I think I'm going to just go now and lay in the bed, watch TV and wait on Dennis to come home, goodnight all.

Dreary Weather & Girlfriends

2008-11-13T08:37:00.003-05:00

Well it looks like we are in for a wet, dreary day. Well it can rain all it wants, because it's not going to stop us. Me and Richelle have been trying to find a day to shop for a new bible study for over the holidays and have lunch. We have both been fighting our busy schedules to find a day, and its finally here.

It will be so nice to share some girl time and shop at the same time. What more could you ask for?

20 Years has gone by.......

2008-11-11T08:25:00.000-05:00

How can 20 years go by so fast? What began with a blue stripe on a stick, a small blip on an ultrasound, to moving in my tummy, to a beautiful little girl has now turned into a independent, beautiful young woman.

Today we celebrated her birthday with shopping and I do mean shopping all day long. Then we got to meet Essie to order her bridesmaid dress, she looked beautiful in it, and we got to just wallow in her Essieness! If you have met Essie you have experienced JOY, she is just full of life and we enjoy all the time we can get with her.

We are going to officially celebrate her birthday on Sunday with dinner at the Olive Garden with the family, then cake, ice cream and presents.

This was a milestone birthday for her. This is her last birthday living at home, This is her last birthday as a single woman and she is no longer a teenager. So it also brought just a tad of sadness with it. But she is healthy, beautiful and grown up into something I didn't expect.

As a mother, you never can really see them past the age they are. Even though we try many times. But you just can't grasp that thought. Then it just happens, slowly, but in a very fast way, they change day by day by day. You really don't notice it very often. It just kind of sneaks up on you in moments through their life. Sierra is now an adult and she is not what I expected, even though I could not put words to what I expected. Somehow she is just different, it's like I am meeting the new Sierra for the first time. We are learning a new way to relate, communicate, and love each other. We often have our struggles but that is to be expected in this season in both of our lives. But the truth is, I really like this Sierra. I like that she is stubborn, anal, strong-willed, and opinionated. She is her own woman with her own thoughts, dreams and desires. I just love that! And it also doesn't hurt that she reminds me of someone I know, ME! Happy Birthday Sierra, We love you.

Fall Pictures

2008-11-10T10:56:00.003-05:00

Pictures of Dustin and Makall. Taken at the U.T. Gardens on November 4th.

Marshmallows

2008-11-10T10:16:00.005-05:00

I got some rest this weekend. Normally our weekends are jammed packed, back to back. But we decided to make it a little more restful this weekend.

Saturday we went to the gun show (my very first one). Dennis was looking for something specific, but they all looked like the same to me. Their was only two choices from my point of view, long or short. So I just kinda followed him around, looking interested. I did find a gun that I liked, and Dennis has been wanting to buy me one for awhile now. But I want to wait, until I can find another woman that would like to get her gun permit, to attend a class with. Then I will buy one and go get my gun carrying permit. If I had been thinking, I would have just tagged along with my dad and Dennis, when they took the class. Oh, well.

But before the gun show, I went to Ross and changed our life. I finally broke down and decided to completely redo our bed and make it as comfortable as possible. I knew this could get expensive, but I really wanted a luxurious warm bed for the winter, so I just jumped in, literally. I bought the pillow top for the bed, new sheets and pillowcases, a new down filled comforter, bed spread, shams and pillows. The entire bed was a gift to ourselves, and when we slipped into our bed that evening, it was even better than we were expecting. We have never slept in a bed like this, except on the cruise. We have both slept like babies the last two nights. Dennis even called this morning, laughing, because he could not believe the difference in his sleep. To say we are thrilled is a total UNDERSTATEMENT! It actually feels like you are sleeping in marshmallows, lol.

Before we jumped into our bed, we enjoyed a nice relaxing dinner at Chili's. Then we just drifted off in a cloud of marshmallows.

Yesterday, was church day for us. It is my favorite day of the week. We heard a great message and enjoyed some wonderful fellowship. Then we headed home for Breakfast. Dustin had requested Breakfast for lunch for us and him & MaKall. So we had a nice warm comforting lunch together, then Dustin and Makall retreated to the den, to watch movies all day. Dennis worked on some online classes for his job and I just relaxed and read the paper. Then I got in the mood for some warm cookies, so I baked some oatmeal chocolate chip cookies. Makall told Dustin she was glad I was not her mom, because she would be as big as a house, with all my cooking. We really enjoy her company, she is fast becoming a part of our family.
Then it was time for our fireproof marriage class, so we said bye. Makall and Dustin was busy preparing their dinner, before they went and met some friends for bowling. We stopped by Starbucks for some of their new hot chocolate, Dennis got the salted caramel and I got the hazelnut, it tasted just like a melted Roche, chocolate. Which just happens to be my favorite, Then it was off to fireproof our marriage with our friends.

After the class we just headed home, and when we opened the door, nobody was home. But the Barry White music was still playing. The candle that was lit, was still a little warm, and the remnants of a Steak dinner was setting in the kitchen. My boy is such a romantic, he is so much like his daddy. My boy is growing up and I am enjoying watching him loving someone else.

We ended the evening by watching the Unit, which was great, but continued. Then we just fell into the marshmallows. Just a nice relaxing weekend that we both desperately needed.

I was able to get Dustin and Makall out last week for some fall pictures. I wanted some couple pictures and some individual shots. They were such good sports and I was able to get some nice ones. I will post them, in the next post. So in essence this post is going to continue.

Thank God, it's Friday

2008-11-07T08:35:00.003-05:00

This week has been very hard for me. I don't know exactly why, but it has been none the less.

I had my diabetes center 3 month checkup, this week. Then I had my doctor's 3 month check up. Neither one, went the way I wanted. My medicine was changed, some medicine added and more concerns, which were all overwhelming.

Sierra also had trouble respecting our family, again this week, on more than one occasion. She behaves as if this is her house, and we are here to do as she wishes. We are here to entertain her friends, cook her supper and she will call and inform us when our services will be needed. Notice, I said inform! She will not ask us anything. She will not ask if we are up to company, She doesn't ask if anyone can join us for dinner, She doesn't ask us hardly anything, we are just told her plans, and we are expected to conform to her plans. This is stopping and this is stopping now, I am not a maid, cook, or entertainer. We have our own life, we have our own plans, which do not usually work well with hers. I really do believe that she thinks our plans do not begin, until she calls and informs us to what the evening is going to hold for all of us. We have let the boundaries of our family be crossed too many times with her, and I am frustrated. Both with us and her. We have discussed this issue many times with her, we have talked until we are blue in the face. She does not want to hear us, she refuses to respect us on this issue. So we are putting a stop to all of it. We are not going to accommodate her at all, until she decides to respect us. Our house is not open to everything she wants to plan. She is very prideful and selfish when it comes to this issue. She thinks we are being unreasonable and that we have a problem. And she is right, we have had a problem. We have not required respect from her and this has added to the problem. But things are going to be different from here on out. Pray for us, this is not going to make our relationship with her any better.

So as you can see this week has been hard for me. But the weekend is here, and I'm going to enjoy it.

Will this new president bring "Change"

2008-11-05T08:01:00.004-05:00

Well we have a new President, Obama has won the right to make decisions for us and our country. He was not my personal pick, but I'm OK with that.

I am recognizing the fact that our country made history last night. It is so refreshing to know that our country has gotten past the "color" problem. For those people that did vote for him to overcome the prejudices of "Color" is wonderful, in its self. I can't imagine the pride that the African American community is feeling right now. And for that alone, I am thankful.

He has promised "Change" for our country. I believe him, I think he will change the country. I'm just not sure if the changes he brings will benefit the families of this country. But he is just one man, he is human, he really has no control over his life or ours. He can have his plans all laid out in front of him, he can fill himself with confidence and he can have the whole country eating out of his hand, but HE is not in control of things.

He is only a part of GODS plan. He will only be able to bring about the changes that God allows for our country. Which could very well become painful for all of us, but if that is God's will for us, then we will be refined by the fire of it all.

So if your like me and have a hard time trusting this man, then don't. You really don't have too. Just Trust the One that has the plans for all of our lives laid out before him. He has already gave us our instructions, we have our cheat sheet folks. All we have to do is open our bibles, open our minds and listen for his voice.

We may be surprised but there is no surprises for God. He has prepared already for the changes that this one man has promised. He knows what we need and what we will be subjected too, and he is going to use all of it. So relax, a new man is coming into the White House, but the GOD that controls all of it, still reigns. AMEN

2008-10-23T08:59:00.002-04:00

First goal accomplished, Kitchen organized and put back together.

Now...

For the next goal, exchanging seasonal wardrobes. I always dread this and it does make a mess, but it has to be done. I just keep telling myself, I get all new (since I haven't seen them in 6 months) clothes out of this deal, so that always makes it better. But I still dread it....

Dustin and Makall is joining us for dinner tonight. It's their 2 month anniversary and he doesn't have money to spend, so he asked last night if I was doing dinner. Of course I said yes, Dustin is learning about money and dating, and I don't think he enjoys the money part. But at least I can help him in the dinner department. I soaked some beans last night, so the menu is country comfort tonight. Pinto beans, fried chicken, potatoes, biscuits and gravy are on the menu. I sure hope she likes Cracker Barrel type food, haha.

I have a full day ahead of me, so I better get started. I have a feeling it won't get done, if I don't at least participate in the activities. So lets get this show on the road......

Fall Break means work for me....

2008-10-22T12:33:00.003-04:00

Dustin decided he wanted to trade a Christmas break week for a fall break, so he got his wish.

That left me a whole week with no school and no bible study, so I decided to use it wisely. I first decided to clean out all of my kitchen cabinets, change the shelf cover, and paint most of the cabinets again. After cleaning out my cabinets, I have a lot of stuff I would like to hold on to, but that doesn't really need to be taking up valuable space in my kitchen, which led to a problem, which led to....

Cleaning, purging and organizing my two kitchen shelves in the garage. After getting rid of a lot. I was able to take the stuff from the kitchen and organize them downstairs. I am so thrilled, my kitchen has not been this organized since we moved in. And I can now find everything I need, without things falling out, which if you ask anyone, was a problem in our house. This also let me see everything I do have and makes me want to cook and bake even more. I still have a quite a bit to go in having everything put back and everything wiped down, but I am coming to the end of this project and I can finally see a light at the end of the tunnel. But I do think I'm going to wait a little while longer to finish painting the cabinets, I can't do everything in this one week.

These pictures are not of my kitchen, but I want to give some life to this post. haha

My next project to get done by Friday is exchanging our summer wardrobes for our winter. Which causes a complete mess until it is finished, but it has to be done. So I hope to have the kitchen redo, completed today and maybe the clothes can begin tomorrow. I'm hoping if I can keep focused, I can finish it all by tomorrow evening.

I really don't want to work very much Friday, because with the party on Saturday, I will be exhausted. So I figured I could just rest on Friday, party on Saturday, and then renew on Sunday. Sounds like a good plan to me. But as we all know God laughs at our plans, but at least I have one.

The TRUTH set me free

2008-10-21T00:10:00.003-04:00

The truth set me free and I was also very wrong on the situation.

I received an reply back from my email to my sister-in-law Missy. I got it just in time for bed. I was surprised that she replied back and so soon. This email brought me so much peace in the situation.

Yesterday, I was frustrated and a little angry about a situation I allowed myself to jump into. I then had to vent about it.

Then I began the task of finishing a book I started last night entitled "The Shack". Usually when I have started a book, I can't put it down. But this book was different, so different I didn't rush to finish it. But I gave it another try yesterday afternoon and I couldn't put it down. Come to find out, I was not to rush through this book. I was supposed to read today exactly what I read. God spoke to me!

I was allowing my frustration with myself to spill over onto Missy. I assumed that she was not considerate about us because of the amount of money involved. I assumed that she would be furious, because that's the way I probably would of handled it. I assumed it would ruin the friendship, that we both had been able to achieve despite our families problems. I assumed way too much and I assumed very WRONG!

Don't get me wrong I didn't realize all of this until after her reply. While I was reading the book, it was interesting but I had not internalized this truth I was reading. But after I read her reply, it hit me like a ton of bricks.

I had based all my assumptions on the Missy I used to know and the family she comes from. Missy was way spoiled and usually got her way. She could manipulate a situation just like the rest of us. She came from a confused and disturbed family and she has some baggage from her experiences of life. But the new Missy has become a independent thinker and doer of her own life. She is just now learning to direct her own life, instead of letting her mother determine her steps. And she is doing very well, I might add. She has grown up and into a pretty determined women and I am very proud of her. I was also very wrong about her in this situation.

Missy opened her reply with kindness. She fully understood my decision and shared that she would love to be able to finance the entire thing, but she just isn't able, just like the rest of us. So she allowed me to back out very gracefully and for that I am very thankful. She then did something I was surprised by....she asked me if I would be there with her to help her and McKenzie (her daughter) get dressed. This thrilled me to death, because with this question she showed me that it was me she wanted there and not me just to fill a position. This also allows me to do what I wanted to do to start with, HELP her. I get to be with her during the most intimate time of her preparations, I will get to see and experience her nervousness, I will get to share some last words with her as a single women. This is so special for me.

I made a judgement on her that I should not have. And God used this to teach me some serious lessons in life.

1. Do not agree to do something, that you have not prayed over and know for sure you are supposed to do.

2. Do not judge someone or a situation before the picture is complete. I ran ahead with my assumptions and they were all wrong. And I was the one to be humbled in the end.

3. Do what is right, even after doing what is wrong. Correcting a mistake may be the hardest thing you do. But the consequences of obedience and doing the right thing, can lead you to a deeper understanding of the person, your God, and to the place where you get to do, what you set out to do in the first place.

God is so good to me, especially when I don't deserve it. To everyone who read my blog yesterday and to Beth, who I vented on the phone to. Forget what I said, yes there may have been truth in it, but I was missing the rest of the truth (this is something I learned in our summer bible study).

I am just so glad that God does not give up on me. It seems to take so much more time and effort on my part to learn the simple things of God. But I'm still learning.

I had thought about erasing the entire last post, to make it go away. But that is not what I am going to do. I'm leaving it right where it is, to remind me of a hard lesson learned.

The truth is......

2008-10-20T11:39:00.004-04:00

I have been in the middle of something I shouldn't have for several months. I said yes to something I shouldn't have. I have been been covering up my own feelings on the subject. I have put a smile on my face and appeared happy about the situation, and I am not, and have never been. So what is this situation.......

My sister-in-law is getting remarried on January 3rd. We were not even invited to her first wedding many years ago. But family situations have made her circle of friends and family smaller than before. Therefore, she has requested our immediate family, including Bill to fill positions in her wedding. We said yes, when we should have said no. We tried to be nice and now the circumstances are becoming very clear to our family. We were not consulted on prices or what we would be willing to spend at all. We were given one choice per person and that was it. We realized last night, that if things kept going as planned without intervention, our family would spend almost 1000.oo to be in this wedding.

As you know, January is very close to Christmas. January is very close to Dustin's graduation and Sierra's wedding. When we agreed to be a part, we had no idea what the amount of things were going to cost. We had just thought she would take into consideration that we are a one-income family. That consideration was not part of the plan apparently on her part. And we did not play the part of self-advocates very well either. But that still does not take away the fact that we should have been more responsible on our own behalf.

This is a lesson that God has brought to our full attention. I did this morning what I should have done in the beginning. I removed myself from the matron of honor position. I pulled myself out of something I should have never been a part of. This is something that is going to make her furious at such a short notice. But Dennis has said, this is not something we can add to our budget right now. The amount is just not going to be in our budget, for something not necessary. And we can not continue to go along with this plan. I am the only one pulling out, Dennis and Dustin is still going to rent tuxes and fill their position. Sierra has bought the dress and shoes, and is still in shock and she hasn't even payed for alterations yet. And yes, Bill is still keeping his position. But Dennis and I have to draw a line somewhere, and this is where it is.

I have relayed this message to her this morning and I don't even think I will get a reply back from her. I'm hoping she will understand, but that's not something that goes over real well in this Johnson family. But I did what I had to do.

I had to tell the truth.......and I feel better about it. I regret not making the right decision in the beginning. I hate that she will be angry with me. But I have to live with myself and that is hard to do, when you are not happy with all your decisions. I also have to balance a budget for our family and I have to abide by Dennis's wishes. So it has taken longer than it should have but I have finally done what I should have already done.

I sure do not hope to repeat this lesson again. God has gotten my attention. I will not agree to do things to make other people happy at the expense of our own family.

What a beautiful Sunday...

2008-10-19T16:08:00.003-04:00

Church was great as usual this morning and we finally got to see the New Northstar building design. It is very unusual and interesting, it will definitely get attention. We are excited as a church body, with how God is going to use us, in this project. We will just have to wait and see.

We then headed to NHC rehab to visit Eunice, my friend Becky's mother. She had knee replacement last Monday and is doing wonderful. She is such a sweet lady and I want to be just like her at 80. She still enjoys a lot of life and has fun doing it. I hope I'm the same way and I'm halfway there, haha.

After a short visit we headed to the new Farragut Kroger to get groceries and get a bite for lunch. We love this new Kroger and if you haven't been, you need to make a visit, it is definitely worth it.

Now we are at home, Dennis is working on the computer on some work stuff and I have been cleaning up a little. I have been trying to stay on top of this house and it is so much easier when you do a little bit every day. After a little cleaning, I figured I would check my email and post a new blog, since it's been a whole week since the last.

This past week was kinda busy and I was left a little overwhelmed with the previous week of my birthday. But things are kinda quieting down now and I like it that way.
Last Friday, Sierra had all 4 of her wisdom teeth taken out and I spent a lot of time nursing her until she was all better. Then we also started a new fireproof marriage class on Sundays, so to say the least the last couple of weeks have left me tired. This week looks a little more calm. We don't have bible study this week, because of fall break, so I have Thursday open. The weather is going to be more of my taste this week, so I hope to take advantage of the fallness and my back porch. I have a book I would like to finish this week, and I might just do it. I also have a goal of cleaning out my kitchen cabinets this week and taking the things I use the least to my kitchen collection in the garage. I can operate so much better without clutter, so the kitchen is being overhauled this week. And another goal I hope to accomplish this week is getting my summer clothes put up and my winter wardrobe out and in the closet. So I guess we will just have to wait and see how much I get done. But at least I have some goals.

Tonight we have the second marriage class at church. It's nice to be reminded that we can make some some positive changes and enjoy each other even more. This study has come at the beginning of the season, when we are having more and more opportunities by ourselves, which we are loving by the way!

The Carmon family is having its annual Halloween/fall party next Saturday at 6. There will be fun for the kids, a haunted forest for the adults and the children not afraid, hotdogs and candy. So if you don't have any plans, consider yourselves invited. The only thing we request is a bag of candy per child. They will get a bag to bring back home of an assortment of goodies. Just contact me and I can send directions. This party takes alot of time and energy each year to happen and 2 full saturdays have already been spent in preparations, so please come and make our day.

A nice lunch

2008-10-06T14:07:00.003-04:00

I got to enjoy a very nice lunch with my sister-in-law Beth, today at Calhouns to celebrate my birthday. It was relaxing and filled with conversation. I really enjoy getting together with Beth and discussing life together. Thank you, Beth.

I'm running a little on empty today. I have been going since last Wed full speed ahead and now I am feeling it, for sure. This has been a very busy week for me, filled with my friends, family and new adventures. Ifs this is what my 40's is going to be like, its going to be fun.

Yesterday we got to enjoy the movie "Fireproof" along with 223 of our church family. This sunday, we will begin a marriage bible study for 6 weeks based on the movie. It should be interesting, to see marriage through the eyes of at least 70 more people.

Beth said something interesting today, she said " Your family shows no outward signs of the problems you go through, No one would know". This is not something I had ever thought about before. I think the reason for this is because we deal with our problems head on, and then let it go. The problems do not carry on and on and on. So when you see our family, don't think we are a perfect family, their is no such thing. God has just brought us to a place, to where we love each other regardless of situations in the background. We enjoy each other and our time together, there will always be complications, disagreements etc in our family. We just choose not to dwell in that place. So, when you see our family, you see God's grace. We hope he is what you see in us.

Letting Go......again, again, and again

2008-10-04T20:47:00.003-04:00

You will not believe what was planned for me. The day started off with our annual visit to the Robert Tino Gallery fall festival. We attend every year, mom and dad began joining last year, and Sierra decided to join this time. We had a great time enjoying the colors, smells and sounds of the fall. We always buy at least one framed art piece for my birthday, and have Robert Tino sign it for us. The funny thing is, everyone has to have trees as the theme, that is just important to me. So we had a great time.

Then I though Dennis had a job scheduled for 2:30, except after lunch, he was on the phone, supposedly with the person he was doing the job for, explaining that he needed to reschedule. I was glad because that was going to leave us the rest of the day to shop, or so I thought.

We turned on the road we had never been on before. Dennis said it was a short cut to the red roof mall in pigeon forge. But something caught my eye when we turned the corner. I could not believe it......

It was the new zip line adventure in Sevierville. It just happens to be the longest one in the United States. It has 6 different platforms with continuous zip lines. I had seen it in the city view magazine a couple of weeks ago and mentioned that would make an excellent start to my 40th year. I have been deathly afraid of heights all my life. But I'm tired of being afraid. But I really didn't think they would take me seriously, and it was never brought up again.....until today

My dad and mom's gift to me was the zip line adventure. Reservation made for 3:00. I had no idea. I had no time to think about it, which was very good. God heard my desire and figured that if I was ready to step out on faith, he was going to orchestrate the chance. And boy did he ever. I was nervous but not afraid. I had the best time of my life, doing something that literally scared me to death. After the first line, I was on a roll. By the 3rd line, I was running and jumping off into nothing....and it felt wonderful. I could not believe what I was doing. I was so proud of myself. Dennis was so proud of me too, he couldn't believe I didn't back down. I think Jesus is proud of me, he knows how far I've come this year!

New friends and conversation

2008-10-03T23:54:00.000-04:00

Dinner with Kendra and Dennis went great. We had a lot of laughs and a little serious conversation. It seems that God has placed us in the same situation at the same time. They are also our age and have children our ages, which is unusual. Most couples of our age tend to just be starting families or have little ones still. We have no concept of bedtimes or babysitters. This tends to make it hard for us to have date nights with other couples.

But God is up to something, I think. We really enjoyed their company and I hope they enjoyed ours. We began the evening at 7 and we were walking back to our cars at 11. I would consider the evening a success and we can't wait to do it again. I hope she does'nt mind me stealing one of her facebook pictures. I just want to keep this website as my journal and I plan to print it off at the end of the year. I want to be able to remember them when I'm 80. HaHa

Friends and Fun, what more could a girl want......

2008-10-03T08:16:00.003-04:00

No bifocals sat on my nightstand, No depends are under my bathroom sink, and their is no insure in the fridge. This 40 thing is turning out to be pretty good, don't you think?

Yesterday reminded just how blessed I truly am. I am surrounded by wonderful friends and family and they all stopped what they were doing and celebrated the day with me. Thank you all for loving me so well.

I believe I'm going to start today with a little shopping. Then maybe lunch at chick-fil-a (my favorite, fast food). I want to ride this celebration just as long as I can, lol.

Tonight we are going to dinner with Dennis and Kendra, we cannot wait. We are experiencing the same season right now, and I believe we are eager to share our thoughts and maybe be able to offer some answers for each other. Even if it ends with no answers, we can take comfort in knowing we are not alone in this.

I think today is going to be so much fun. I think this 40 thing is really going to work for me.

Wow...I loved the first day of my 40's

2008-10-02T11:56:00.001-04:00

I can get used to this lifestyle. The entire day was spent with my favorite people, from morning to night.What a better way to spend your birthday.

When I awoke yesterday morning, it began. I had to take my morning tinkle and when I looked at the wall in front of me there was a sign that said "When your 40, if you have to go, you really have to go". The sign on the mirror said " Wow, this is what 40 looks like". The one on the fridge said " Make sure you have enough fiber today". The one at the top of the stairs covered the light switches, and said " Be careful, 40 year old people can have trouble with the stairs. This showed me a another use for the saying, Here's your sign!

Then it was off to bible study with Richelle. Unbeknowest to me, she had shared my birthday with everyone. We finished bible study with a 2 hour lunch with 4 of my closest friends and some really nice presents.

Then I was home for a little while to rest. No one was home but me. That was kinda nice, since I really didn't know what the evening was going to hold.

Mom & Dad arrived and all of us headed to cracker barrel for dinner. We were met by Beth and Brian and enjoyed a wonderful dinner.

We headed back home and I was met by a wonderful surprise, not only was everyone their to have cake and ice cream. Kendra, Essie and Richelle was now here, that was a very nice surprise. Kendra is becoming a fast friend of mine, God seems to be at work in our relationship. Our families are experiencing the same thing at the very same time. What a blessing to have someone to walk through it with. And Essie, what can I say, she is a ray of sunshine, everywhere she goes. I just love her energy and her smile, it is just beautiful. Leslie and Sammy joined us for cake and ice cream, also. Thank you Sammy, because I believe it was her that snuck over to the house and decorated while we were gone to dinner.

So as you can see, friends and fun began my new decade. It was fabulous! I can now recommned turning 40 to everyone.

Goodbye 30's

2008-10-01T09:57:00.003-04:00

I can't believe it, this is the last day of my 30's. Believe it or not, I've never gave it much thought past my thirties. But this has snuck up on me. Forties, Me, 40?

What will they look like? feel like? Will they be good or bad? The questions are endless. But I know changes are in store, because God has been working on my character and personality the entire past year, so something is definitely up. I can just feel it.

This year is going to end with me entering the 40's, my daughter entering her 20's and my son turning 18. Technically all my children will be adults. We are beginning to feel the effects of 4 adult people all trying to live in the same house. We are seeing the adult side of our children and sometimes we are shocked, at the changes in our little ones. We sometimes question, if they are indeed our same children. Because our children were raised to be respectful of other people but for some reason, these children believe the world and our home revolves around them. So I also know we are entering the years of sandpaper. We are going to rub each other the wrong way but hopefully, these times will make us softer in the future. But it sucks right now, and sandpaper can leave some scars.

But today is the last day of my 30's and I want to enjoy it to the fullest. I have no idea what is going to happen, but I intend to savor every last minute of it. Tomorrow begins a whole new decade for me, I wonder what tomorrow will feel like? I will update you tomorrow on the first morning of your forties. I will let you know if it's harder to get out of bed, if bifocals are now needed, breakfast begins with insure, or if the grocery list will now include depends. This is going to be so FUN , I hope.

The Truth hurts.....

2008-09-30T09:06:00.003-04:00

The truth is, I'm so overwhelmed with life's circumstances right now. I don't understand how life can be running pretty smoothly and when you turn around, here comes the turmoil again.

My heart is hurt over the relationship with my daughter. She has changed, something has happened to that sweet, unselfish girl. She has been replaced with a selfish, disrespectful young women. This change in her, has not went over very well with Dennis and I. We are disgusted with the attitude and lack of respect. We have come to the end of our rope. We are tired. We are sad. This is not what the last years of Sierra's time with us, were supposed to be. But we have to stand our ground, we have to enforce our boundaries with her. This makes her very angry and very disrespectful with us. We had a family discussion last night and laid out the boundaries, once again, she was not happy. But we have come to the point that her happiness is not the most important thing to us, peace is. Peace and respect in our house is going to be the goal and the rest of the family will be respected, NO EXCUSES. We are no longer going to tip-toe around the elephant in the room. So of course, things are not rosy with our relationship with Sierra. But sometimes relationships need to change and CHANGE is hard! Please Pray for us.

Please also pray for Dustin. Life is becoming reality for him and he is not handling it well. He is overwhelmed! We knew this time was coming and I knew he would not handle it very well. He is such a sensitive soul, that change does not come easy for him. Our heart hurts for him, because some life circumstances, we cannot protect him from.

As you can see, our most important relationships are in a very stressful place right now. We wished we knew all the right things to do, but we don't. This growing up-adult season, is not fun for the kids, but it is so much harder on the parents. Please keep our family in your prayers. Please pray for peace, wisdom and clarity for Dennis and I, and for protection, wisdom, and open eyes for our children.

The rollarcoaster of Life.......

2008-09-29T09:43:00.003-04:00

One more hot day and hopefully cooler temps are here. I'm ready, I want to exchange my wardrobe for a few of my favorite fall things, I haven't got to see in several long months.

But at least I can begin changing the seasons around my house. I plan on getting out some of my fall decorations and changing the way things look around here. The colors of fall just happen to be my favorite colors, so I can't wait.

This weekend started a little low key. I was suppose to scrapbook with some friends friday night, but I knew by mid-day, that was not going to happen. I have been having some stomach problems for a week now. I believe I am experiencing a lot of stress right now, that may just be hidden in my body. Anyways, I knew I needed to just rest friday night. I planned on watching the debates, but only got through about 30 minutes, until I was gone. I am exhausted and running on fumes right now, so I am going to start pulling back a little and begin to heal my mind and my body. I believe I have been dealing with some of these changes by internalizing them and my stomach is showing me that.

Anyways, here is what has happened over the last several days at the Johnsons.

Thursday-Mercy Me, Wow is the word. We were about 10 feet away from the band and it was a total worship experience.

Friday night- Nothing, dinner and bed at 9:30

Saturday- We headed to mom and dads to get started for the halloween party. This time it included a bob cat, You see, someone bought our previous trail and began to build a house on it this summer. So we have had to begin all over again, and this time it is much larger and longer. Which in turn means, more people and more workers. But the planning has begun.

Sunday- Church, grocery store, and back home. We were suppose to go back to church this evening and out to eat with our small group, but we decided to rest a little more. We ended the evening at sonic, a motorcycle ride, watching amazing race and the Unit.

So that was our weekend in a nutshell. We are blessed with a full and fun life, but sometimes, that can be tiring. This week looks uneventful. Thursday is bible study and lunch with Richelle and I think Me and Mom might go to lunch and go see Nights in Rodanthe on Tuesday. I'm just going to relax and enjoy the ride and not worry so much on what kind of ride its going to be. Except on Thursday, I am going to be topping the hill and begin the journey down. I'm turning 40!!! Wow I wonder what the next half of my life will be like? Usually with my personally, I want to know now, but I'm not even going to try to figure it out, I'm just going to lay back and ride it out.

I don't know what is happening to me....

2008-09-24T08:58:00.003-04:00

Clutter has become my enemy over the last several weeks. It started with the laundry room, then that led to the pantry, to the kitchen drawers, and then yesterday, it was the bedroom.

Something has happened to me, I normally don't have a lot of clutter, but what little I did have, is driving me crazy. I am purging, labeling, organizing and it feels wonderful. Who knew, that labels could bring such freedom, haha. I've been searching for the perfect organizing baskets, shelves etc, everywhere I go. Dennis came home last night and said "Are you nesting?"" We both just laughed. But the more I think about it, I am nesting. My life is changing so fast, that I feel like I need to prepare for new life coming.

The rest of the week is packed full of activities,

Thursday, Bible study (morning) Lunch with Richelle (afternoon) Mercy Me concert (evening) with Becky and Don.

Friday, Scrapbooking at Richelles

Next week brings a BIG change in my life. I will turn 40!!!! Wow, a new decade to begin. I hope this one, turns out to be the best one yet.

Photo's continued.....

2008-09-23T09:02:00.002-04:00

See the posts below for the story....

Snapshots from the getaway 2008

2008-09-23T08:52:00.002-04:00

The story of these photos is in the blog previous.

It's Official, Fall is here!

2008-09-23T08:19:00.004-04:00

Fall is here, can you believe it? It came so fast, it seems not long ago, I was praising the arrival of spring. But that's how life moves, FAST! And just like the seasons, my life has moved just as fast. But I am so glad, fall is finally here. This season just happens to be my favorite. Crisp mornings, the browns, oranges and leaves. I love it all.

This weekend was fabulous. It was relaxing, restful, simple, full of friends, what more could you ask for? Our small group decided to rent a cabin together and just hang out, and this past weekend was it. We were all kind of anxious, what would we do for an entire weekend? We didn't plan any outings at all. We were just going to hang out and see what happened. And what did happen was wonderful, we walked away loving each other even more.

Each couple was responsible for a meal, and did we eat? Yes, I think we did nothing but eat and the food was wonderful. The cabin was beautiful, 3 levels with 2 king size suites (with private bath) on each level. Wrap around porches on each level, 2 with rocking chairs, and 1 with swings and a gorgeous view. This level was where me and Becky tended to end up. I could not believe it, one of my favorite things to do, swing plus a gorgeous view and some of my favorite girls, I was blessed!!!!

Me and Dennis had no time together the entire weekend, except when we ate and slept. The girls would find a spot on a balcony some where and we just let our hair down and our thoughts spill out. The men would steal away in a far away corner on another balcony and do what men do. By the way, what do men do? Anyway we heard alot of laughter coming from them. This weekend was sweet fellowship and it just left us all wanting more.

We all got up early had breakfast and made the 11:00 service at church, we couldn't miss that. Then me and Dennis had lunch with Bill and Sierra and then we all went our separate ways. One of the things we focused on Friday before the getaway was finding me a jacket and helmet for the motorcycle. By Sunday afternoon, I was set and we headed off. We must have rode for 1-1/2 hours, it was great. By the evening, the house was full, Bill and Sierra, Dustin and Mikall, its so weird to have our house this full, it was just always the 4 of us, now its the 6 of us. After a quick supper, Dennis and I ended the evening in the hot tub, which put me in a coma. I litterly striped my suit off, walked into the bedroom, turned off the light and that's the last thing I remember.

So our weekend was full of laughter, friends,and family. I am learning that this is what makes life worth living. God showed himself off this weekend, lets give him a hand.......

P.s I will post pictures from this weekend in the next post.

Running to CHANGE

2008-09-17T08:22:00.003-04:00

Good morning, I can't tell you how much I am loving this weather. Fall just sneaks up on you with cool mornings, you enjoy them so much that you really don't notice. Then the leaves begin to fall and you know change is coming.

CHANGE was my word for the year, and it has definitely lived up to its name. My closest friends can tell you about some of the changes in my life this year. They can tell you this is Lisa's last year of homeschooling, year of wedding planning,Dustin having his 1st girlfriend, Turning 40, etc. But the most change is something you can not see, it is buried deep inside of me.

As most of you know, I have been doing a bible study on Character, that spans 40 days in your life. From the cover, you really get no idea, how life-changing this book is. Which is good, because most of us would not pick it up, if we knew. But thankfully I didn't have a clue. And that in lies the problem, I didn't have a clue....about myself, the self that no one else sees but God. It turns out, I was not near as good, as I thought, nor was I as put together as I thought. The things I begin to see in myself was discontent, fear, greed, etc. Not very pretty things! And if the book was written in such a manner, to shine a light on these things, you would have never known. Now I KNOW. God has been taking his highlighter to my life and letting me see some things I need to work on, some things that need to change, and some things that need to be added. And the funny thing is, I have been running every morning, just to have him highlight me. I want to Change, I need to Change. With every change that has come my way, it has brought more peace with it, and to tell the truth, I have never felt more peaceful!

So for the 1st time, Change is coming my way. And I'm not standing here in fear of it. I am running to it, looking for more of God. And the best thing of all, I'm finding him!!!!!!

A new season is blowing through

2008-09-16T08:33:00.003-04:00

This morning is a first for me. Dennis is at work, Sierra is at work and Dustin is at work. Dustin started his first day back at Target Golf today and he drove himself. So this is the first day ever, where every one is at work and I didn't have to take or don't have to pick up anyone. WOW!!!!

Another Change has occurred at the Johnson's house. It seems to be happening so fast, I can't keep track anymore.

Sierra & Bill had a wonderful time at the beach and are now back and ready to jump into this wedding planning thing. We spent about 2 hours last night listening to songs and picking the ones for bouquet toss, garter toss, cake cutting, etc. We had a great time, we laughed our butts off, danced a little and sung a lot.

I'm loving this weather, there's just something about opening all the windows and doors and letting nature into the house. Fall is my favorite time of the year, the colors, the festivals, the new clothes. It's so fun to discover the new clothes, from last fall, it's like Christmas. I can't wait, I'm so ready.

This weekend we get to go spend with our small group. We are renting a cabin and just hanging out together. We can't wait, we love everyone in our small group and we have such a good time with them. We also need a little time away, to renew some energy. So we are looking forward to the weekend getaway.

I have no idea what I'm going to do today. The house is completely quiet. Their is no one else here. I have no where to go and nothing that absolutely has to be done. This is so different for me, I guess I just need to spend the day introducing myself to my new life change, I think I need to make it my friend.

What a wonderful day!

2008-09-04T16:10:00.004-04:00

This morning started off great, I had enough time to get in a tiny breakfast with Jesus before heading to the first day of our new bible study. He met me there, and we finished our bible study together at northstar. It was great getting back together with the girls and sharing what god has been showing each one of us individually. It was good!!

Then me and Richelle headed for calhouns for our weekly "accountability luncheon". This was Richelle's first lunch at a sit down restaurant since the surgery. I think we were a little anxious at how it was going to go. But I have to say, it went great. Richelle had the grilled shrimp appetizer and she was able to eat all of it. She said it tasted wonderful and gave it 2 thumbs up!! We had great food and even better conversation.

Today has been great, but I have to say last night, was even better. We attended the Wednesday night prayer service and have been for several weeks now. It is such a simple time of fellowship, worship and prayer. We are loving it. But it took a whole turn last night, it was something you will never forget. We just started just like every Wednesday, but somewhere in the middle, things changed. People got serious, People opened up, People surrendered. Scott asked us to just put a bubble around each one of us and drown out the world. We are such a busy people, running on empty, that we just needed to be still and hear God. So the lights were turned off, a few candles lit, guitar background music and just stillness. We worshiped and prayed to the very God that was in that room, you could feel his presence so clearly. Then in this intimate time, we individually took the lord's supper. It was awesome and personal, but oh so intimate. It is something, me or Dennis will never forget.

I just have to say, that this year I have grown more in love with God than ever before. He is showing himself to me in such new and personal ways. I wake up every morning, just running to him, to see what he has to say to me. I don't want this to ever end. I want him to be new to me, every morning.

Dennis and Dustin has a small job this evening, so I think while they are gone, I'm going to go to victor ashe park and get in some walking. I'm trying to keep a healthy dose of movement in my life these days and it takes effort for me. So I think I may just put Chelsey in the car and get moving. I have to get more energy, because God seems to be moving so fast in my life, I have to be able to keep up!

Nothing going on here....

2008-09-03T08:09:00.003-04:00

I really don't know what to write about today. My mind is all groggy this morning. I was woke up by a beeping nextel. Dennis had to leave it here, because he is at jury duty this morning(again). I could not figure out how to cut the stupid thing off, but oh well the beeping stopped.

Now I'm up, but not quite running. I don't have too much planned today but I'm sure it will find a way to fill it's self up.

Church is tonight, which is a really good way to slow down the week and recharge. This weekend looks quite busy already, so I need to have as much energy as possible.

Well I'm going to run. I am able to start my breakfast with Jesus a little earlier this morning. I hope he won't mind the time change, haha. Plus, I have nothing more to say.

Enjoying LIFE!

2008-09-02T09:06:00.003-04:00

We had a great long holiday weekend. Usually we try to pack in as much as possible, but we just really enjoyed a lazy weekend. It was nice for a change.

Friday night- Dennis read and talked to the neighbors. I went and enjoyed a nice relaxing evening talking to Richelle. Since our bible study, we haven't gotten alot of time for ourselves. So we really enjoyed talking, laughing and most of all, I was disciplined with a Christian love. Thank you, Richelle.

Saturday- Dennis had an early job and was back home by 11:00. Dennis and Dustin went fishing and I went with Sierra and her friend Amanda to try on the bridesmaids dress, it of course was gorgeous and we had a great time. Mom and Dad came by for a little while. I then packed us a picnic and we went to Victor Ashe park for a little dinner and walk. It was really nice.

Sunday-Church of course, which by the way was fantastic. The kids all went their own ways and we headed home. We enjoyed a nice lunch and then just relaxed until "fresh encounter" at church, which was great. Then we went as our small group to "Gondolier" for some great food and even better fellowship. We absolutely love our small group, it is just so nice to be able to share life with other believers.

Monday-Brian and Beth had their first pool party/BBQ and we were invited. We enjoyed seeing people we hadn't seen in years. The entertainment of Brian, he never lets us down in the laughing department, and Chris. What can I say, she just happens to be one of my favorite people, she's funny, she's straightforward and I just like being around her and seeing life through her eyes. After the party ended with a little rain, we headed home. All the kids went their separate ways and that just left me and Dennis. We headed to the store to pick up a few things, watered the gardens and took showers. We then ended the long weekend, with some personal alone time.

So as you can see, we had the perfect amount of relaxing and fun. It was a great weekend.

This week starts fresh and new. Dustin's co-op begins Thursday as well as my new Bible study at Northstar. I can't wait, I miss the fellowship of the girls. Other than that, we just have to see where life leads us.

Please pray for me and a situation (I do not feel comfortable, putting it out their yet)God has asked me to participate in. I have took the first step and am now just waiting. I have a peace about the situation and am not too anxious about the situation. But I want to keep it that way, I do not want Satan to take advantage of the waiting time. I was obedient, (even though I was uncomfortable)I took a huge step of faith (especially for me and my issues) and I want to remain obedient in this situation.

I'm going to run and go have breakfast and my personal bible study with Jesus. This is going to be a tough week, I think it starts this week with patience, and I really don't think that is coincidence. So lets get this party started!

Learning some Self Control

2008-08-28T21:05:00.003-04:00

Well the David's Bridal trip was a success. The bridesmaids and flower girls dresses are picked out, they are gorgeous. The colors for the wedding are very classy and elegant. I can't wait to see it put all together. But there are plenty of things left to do, we need to find a space for the reception and pick flowers. But we are at least on our way.

Lunch at Chick-fil-a brought a surprise. I got to see my friend Lorrie. We have been friends since kindergarten and came back into each others lives about 7 years ago. I got to see all five kids, yes I said 5, and she home schools them all. She is a true "mother", she just thrives in that environment and it is fun to watch her just go with the flow, and that's a lot of flows, haha.

Walmart was our next step. I needed to pick up a couple of items. We also needed to buy some things for Essie & Grady (friends from church), they are getting married next weekend. So, we had a great time, picking things from their registry. Shopping is just fun, even when it isn't for you.

The evening hasn't held too much surprise. Dennis is on the couch with ice on his back and reading a book. It still isn't any better, he saw a chiropractor today and has another appointment tomorrow to go over the scans and x-rays. So I plan on going with him, so I can hear for myself just what he has to say. Dustin, is on the phone with who else, but Mikall. And I just finished 5 laps around the neighborhood, with Chelsey. She could keep going and going and going, even though she is 18 years old. God is teaching me some self-control in my living lifestyle, he is showing me that taking care of myself physically,mentally & spiritually should be my 1 priority. I have taken care of others so long, that this sometimes feels strange to me. But I am feeling better, loosing some weight and just feeling like I am making better choices. I think he may have something else for me to do, and I might as well be in shape to do it.

Tomorrow, I'm planning on starting the first week of our new women's bible study at Northstar. I just received an email saying, get week 1 finished and we will meet at 10:00 next Thursday. So my morning will continue to be breakfast with Jesus (he just always seems to be available for breakfast)breaking open a new study. I can't wait! He has been giving me so much to think about this whole summer, it's almost scary to see what he has coming next. Then my housework needs to get finished before this long holiday weekend. Tomorrow night, Sierra is usually out with Bill and Dustin will be gone to the football game with Mikall. So that means, its just me and Dennis, I guess we will just have to see what we can get into!

Waking UP

2008-08-28T09:07:00.003-04:00

Good Morning!

I've been taking Melatonin before bed to regulate my sleep patterns and it seems to be working pretty good. It leaves me a little groggy in the morning, but it too seems to be wearing off. Lord knows, if I don't get my sleep, the day is not going to be good.

Dennis's back is a tiny bit better, he is going to the doctor. Which means it really hurts. We spent some time in the hottub last night and it seems to help, until he gets out.

Today Sierra and I are heading to David's Bridals to pick out bridesmaids dresses and to the post office. I believe this is the second step onto this crazy rollarcoaster, called Wedding Planning, Pray for me!

This weeks bible study is on Self-Control and God only knows I need more of it. He is making it loud and clear that Self Control is where he is working in my life right now. He is asking me to get serious about alot of things. Some are very obvious and the other, totally out of my comfort zone. He is looking for my obedience, even when I don't wont't to. This concept goes completely against my nature, but he is CHANGING me.

So I'm ready to go take a shower and face the day, I think.

I'm Back, sorta of

2008-08-27T09:46:00.004-04:00

My friend Lorrie just emailed me and simply put, BLOG! So here I am.

I have been busy, just doing life. School has started and my cleaning schedule has started all over again. I like schedules, they keep me accountable. And this time, I have found a cleaning system, that really works for me.

I have been busy doing a bible study called "40 days with a life coach" or something like that, lol. It has been incredible and very personal. It has helped me purge alot of stuff from my life and I feel alot clearer.

Our church has started a new series, based on the book "Crazy Love". It is wonderful and hard. This book is life changing. This book makes you think. Everyone needs to read this book.

Our new bible study at Northstar starts next Thursday. We are going to be studying all the names of God. I can't wait, I miss the girls and the fellowship.

Dennis and I are doing well with all the changes in our family. Our nest is empty more than full now. Dustin is dating, full force and the freedom of driving has certainly kicked in. So that just leaves Me and Dennis most of the time. It is certainly different, we are learning how to be just a couple again. It is so strange, to be able to do just what we want to do, without thinking about someone else. We are having fun, meeting each other again at 39 and 41, we sure are different than 13 &15. haha

Both of my men, got their license last week. Dennis got his motorcycle license and Dustin his driving license. It was so cool seeing them both drive away on their wheels. I am going this weekend to look for me a cool helmet, I'm not going to be left on the sidelines.

Wedding plans for Sierra have changed again. This is the final change! They are getting married here, at Northstar. That way, most people will get to attend and we won't have to hold two separate events. So the planning is underway and now the fun starts, lol.

Dustin has got bitten by the love bug, pretty bad. We have gotten to know Mikall pretty well and her parents too, She fits in real well with our family. I now know that the saying is true....
When your daughter meets the one, you gain a son
When your Son meets the one, you miss your son
I do have to say, it has been wonderful seeing the change in Dustin. I am loving watching him, being romantic with her. He is such a softie, just like his dad.

So as you see, this has truly been the year of "CHANGE" for me. In many ways, our lives look nothing like the previous years. God has been working hard on me this year, he has been purging in my life. But he has also been, beginning things in my life, things I would have never even thought of. For this reason, I need prayer. I need clarity, I need wisdom, I need confidence and anything else you might want to add. I believe he is leading me, some place NEW. It is definitely out of my comfort zone and the thought of it, just makes me anxious. But if this place is where he wants me, then I will go. I may kick and scream, but I want to be obedient. I will fill you in on more details later, if this is where God leads.

Please also pray for Dennis. He has pulled a muscle in his back, pretty bad. I think this may lead to a doctors appointment. He doesn't like not being able to do what he wants to do, but God may have other plans.

Have a great day!

I'm Back and getting better than ever!

2008-08-08T10:33:00.003-04:00

Over the last couple of weeks, I have been very busy. Last week God allowed me to minister to my friend Richelle. She went into the hospital to have gastric bypass surgery. We have been praying about and anticipating the surgery for months, literally. I've attended education class with her and fully supported her in the decision. It felt like we were pregnant and just waiting on the due date. It took a long time to get here, then it was over, just like that. After a couple of long days, chopped up into 15 minutes increments in the hospital, she is home and is doing very well. I can't wait to see how God is going to use this in her life.

This week I knew I needed to just stay home. I knew I would be exhausted from the hospital stay, and I was. But God has been so faithful to me. I have used this week to organize, clean, and get ready for Monday. Monday starts our last year of homeschooling. I always get excited over the newness of school supplies and brand new books. I know I'm crazy.

Last night marked a mile stone in Bill's life. The entire Gamble and Johnson-carmon family celebrated his last day of college. He graduated with a degree in political science and is thinking about starting again next year for his masters, we'll just have to wait and see what God has in store for him. We started with dinner for 25 at Red Lobster and then the party moved to his house for cake and ice cream. We had a great time celebrating this achievement with him and his family.

Dustin is changing again, right in front of my eyes. This McKall is having an effect on him. He is so good to her and she seems to appreciate it. He has spent a lot of time with her since camp. She was even able to make it to Red Lobster last night for dinner and then the cake and ice cream party. She seems to fit our family really well. She is cute as a button, funny, and appreciates my son, which just melts my heart. He even took her to Godiva for a drink (my very favorite place and drink). This made me realize that he does notice things and I did make an impact on him. He is showing he cares for her, by doing things for her, that he knows I love. This makes me happy, because he is going to make a very good boyfriend. I'm enjoying this season in his life, much more than I ever thought I would. I am loving watching him become a man.

God has made a major difference in my life this year. He has brought more changes at an ever increasing pace, than I would have imagined at the beginning of the year. I believe I am handling it better than the year before. I am letting go and letting God, which for me has been very hard in the past. But I have let go and have been receiving peace. I may not agree with some things my children decide to do but I can trust the ONE that controls things. I may not feel comfortable with the swiftness of some changes, but I can trust the ONE that moves things. I may not understand all the changes, but I can trust the ONE that knows all things. So my goal has become, simply to TRUST HIM.

I love Rainy Days

2008-07-26T12:08:00.004-04:00

Why is it that when you wake up to dark skies and rain, it changes you? It does for me. My mind, my emotions, physically, I tend to slow down. I live life just a little more purposeful.

My mind doesn't seem to be stuck in high gear, as usual. I am able to think about one thing at a time and focus. My mind likes to dwell a little longer on things, that my normal day doesn't allow for.

My emotions become soft, mellow and peaceful. It's almost as if I'm drugged. I am able to just enjoy the slowness of the whole day.

Physically, I move more slowly. I move with intent.

Maybe all of the above reasons tell the story of "why I love rainy days"!

This coming week is going to be very hectic for me and I think God just knew I needed a little down time for myself. This week I was able to finish lesson planning, making copies, and organizing the school filing cabinet. So we are ready for school and will be starting August the 11Th. Yesterday, I was able to clean the entire house and get some things done. And today, I have the blessing of NOTHING! I have nowhere to be, nothing to do, no one to answer to or for and a rainy day.

God really does love me!

Dustin is home and brought back the winds of change

2008-07-25T08:26:00.004-04:00

Yesterday went just like I expected. The movie was great and me and mom had a great time together. AND............................

Dustin came home from camp, it was so good to see him. He was tan and so much cuter than I remembered, haha. He was a man.

I think I started something in my last blog.....I was talking about Dustin entering a new season of life. He has started becoming interested in girls, which has not been his thing. Even though he is almost 18. BUT................

When I picked him up, something about him was different. I couldn't quite put my finger on it, but I knew as soon as I saw him, something had changed while he was gone. Then we began the journey home, just me and him. And I began to ask about his experiences and he began to talk, and talk and talk. About HER! Yes, I said her!

This was what was different about him, there was a HER. Apparently she has liked him, and she was taking this time away to let him know. He began telling me how the whole week went...She saved him a seat at every eating time.....She stayed with him all week, wherever they went.....They talked alot.

While he was talking, all I kept thinking is "It is here, the time has come". Another female has made an impact on his life, and he will never be the same Dustin. And even my relationship with him, is going to change. And even though I felt a little sad, I couldn't stop looking at him. He had definitely had a life change during the week and it looks good on him.

As soon as he got home, even before he really even said hi to his dad and his sister. He was on the computer, with HER. She was telling her dad about the guy she met at camp and then they spent alot of time just typing back and forth, until his phone was recharged and then the phone wires were hot. He was on the phone with her at 11:00, when we went to bed and probably long into the night.

This is a new phase for Dustin. I am so happy for him. My only advice to him was " you have seen how your dad treats me, and I expect you to treat her the same. Be very good to her". He showed me her facebook and her pictures so I would have an idea about what she looked like. It seemed VERY important to him, that I would approve of her.

I told him, looks do not matter to me. It is her Character and kindness, I'm looking at. He said she was very nice. I do have to tell you though, she is CUTE!!! She has beautiful big blue eyes and is kinda short, like me. I like her already, haha.

I just had to write down everything about this change of season. I don't want to forget any of it. I don't want to forget the change in my son and the instant it happened. God has started a new adventure for our family and I'm a little excited.

Oh yeah, I forgot, HER name is Mikall. I hope she dosen't mind, but her picture is above. I just want to remember everything about this season.

Me, Mom & "Mama Mia"

2008-07-24T09:38:00.003-04:00

Today is going to be fun. Mom turned 60 a week or so ago and I told her I wanted to treat her to a movie and dinner. So today is the day. We are going to see "Mama Mia" at the pinnacle and then have some lunch. I have already seen the Broadway version and it was very good. So I know my mom will love this movie and I can't wait to see what they have done with it. I have heard some really good reviews.

Then Mom has a doctors appointment at 3:40, so I'm tagging along for it too. Mom has a really hard time remembering what the doctor said and doesn't always share the problems she has. I think this could be a little selective memory, don't you think? So the time has come, where it is better for me to tag along, so one of us gets the whole story. And I think she likes the company also.

Later tonight, Dustin returns from the beach all tan. I can't wait to hear the stories, I'm sure he has to tell. I even want to hear the ones about the "hot girls". I am finally realizing that I will not always be the women in his life. I kinda look forward to seeing what kind of women he picks and makes him happy. He certainly will make a good boyfriend and I can't wait to see him melt. I just hope he remembers that the most important thing about her is "Does my mom like her"? haha

So today is going to be a good day. Hope you have just as much fun.

The Dark Knight

2008-07-24T09:34:00.002-04:00

Last night was the night. We finally got to see Batman. It was wonderful and even better than I expected. Which always makes me very happy. Heath Ledger was wonderful, he made crazy.......very crazy. It was much darker than the previous movies, but I enjoyed it even more. Heath Ledger should definitely win an Oscar for this performance. If he had lived a little more life, he would have become a major star.

I need to get busy, busy, busy

2008-07-23T08:32:00.003-04:00

I really don't have the time to blog this morning, but oh well.

Today is the 2nd day this week, I've set aside to lesson plan. I was able to get a lot done the first day, so I only have about 2 subjects today. I have planned all the way to Christmas Vacation. But today, I have to make copies and organize my filing cabinet, which isn't too fun. But I got to go to Target yesterday, and got some new goodies for the year, so that makes things a lot better, haha.

We were going to the movies last night, but Dennis got caught up at work. It just got too late to think about going. So we are going to try for tonight, cross your fingers.

Life is going pretty well at the Johnson house. God is still changing me, giving me different thoughts and desires. HE is showing me real PEACE, by teaching me to "let go". I'm beginning to enter one of the most life changing seasons, and I have been somewhat afraid to go through it. But HE is showing me, "I am so much more, than what I've been and done" and things come to an end and relationships will change. But HE does not! And HE has already began developing new relationships in my life, kick starting some new desires in my life and HE is beginning to get rid of the "fear" in my life. So watch out, when HE is finished with me, I will be CHANGED!!!

Lunch with girlfriends

2008-07-22T10:51:00.004-04:00

I'm sitting here waiting for 11:00, that's when Richelle is picking me up. We are heading to Calhouns to meet our bible study girls for lunch. It been a couple of months since we have all been together and it will be probably September before bible study season starts again. So I'm excited to spend some time with friends and good food.

Last night we attended the funeral for Jason Hovater. He was the young man killed in action last week. I should have said we attended his "celebration of life" because this was no funeral. We hugged the family, worshiped and enjoyed looking back at Jason's life. And what a life it was, full of God, family and laughs. The family is going to miss him like crazy, but they know very well, where he is. And they are now just enjoying the knowledge that all of heaven is laughing with him.

Tonight, I think me and Dennis is going to see "Batman, Dark Knight" in the Imax theater. We have been really wanting to see this movie and I think tonight may be the night.

I better run, Richelle may already be sitting in my driveway.

Our boy is heading to the beach.......

2008-07-20T14:50:00.003-04:00

Well Dustin leaves for camp tonight at 12:00 for the week. It will be different around here without him, but I'm sure we will both enjoy the space. He will be having fun and I will be planning, plus having a little fun.

We started the day with Church, of course. And it was good! Then home to do a little (a lot) of cleaning. Sierra's friend Emily is coming to spend the night with her and some girl fun. She is living most of the years out of state for school, so this is a special treat.

I'm sitting here blogging, while Dennis is resting on the couch. We are waiting on my parents to arrive for dinner. We are going to the "Ye Ole Steakhouse" for some good steak. Mom and Dad have never been and Dustin thinks he should be treated extra special because he is leaving. So we are all enjoying a little treat this afternoon.

Then the evening will probably be spent, making sure Dustin has everything packed and ready. Watering all the gardens and enjoying the outside also has to be added in there somewhere. Then around 10:30 we will leave for the church and drop our boy off for the week. So please pray that the team have safe travel and a great time, while also experiencing God's presence. And pray for me, that I don't waste this week, and really get some things done.

Farmers Market Saturdays

2008-07-20T14:38:00.003-04:00

I love the market. I mean I really love the farmers market on Market Square Mall. It has an atmosphere completely different then I'm used too, and the new Lisa has fallen in love with it.

So you already know how I spent my Saturday morning. I brought home, fresh apples, peaches, sunflowers, pastries. Just simple things that bring me so much happiness.

Then me and Sierra headed to the tire store to pick up her new car, with new tires. Then we met the guys for lunch at Chick-fil-a. Then Sierra went on her own way and me and the guys headed to walmart. We needed to pick up a few items for Dustin's camp adventure this week. After picking up a few items, we headed home.

Then I had to make a stop at "Teacher's box" to pick up my LAST, lesson planner. I can't believe it. I figured if I was going to dedicate most of this week to planning, I wanted to have it ready so I didn't have to leave the house Monday. Now I'm ready.

Then the guys and I headed to the "fresh market". We love the fresh market. It is an experience all to itself. If you have never been, you are missing it, you have to make the trip.

After all this running around, we were just a little tired. We ended our evening, cooking supper and resting a little bit.

A new day and veggies are coming out of my ears

2008-07-18T08:48:00.003-04:00

God has blessed us with an abundance of produce this summer. We have squash and zucchini up to our eyeballs. So today the plan is to get it all cut and bagged for the freezer. I am even going to go on and shred some zucchini to freeze for some winter time bread. While I'm at it, I'm going to prepare two pans of veggie lasagna for dinner tonight and the leftovers can be frozen for Dennis's lunches.

So I see a long day in the kitchen ahead of me today. But I can not stand any longer, to see bags and bags of produce sitting around in ever corner of the kitchen. Something has to be done!

I also need to get a couple of loads of laundry done today. Now that the entire laundry room is organized, it's much more convenient to wash clothes. It's amazing how clutter, can really affect me. Cluttered laundry room, keeps me from washing clothes. Cluttered kitchen, really drives me crazy. If I see clutter, it changes my whole mood and my motivation to do something about it. So its just easier for me to keep it under some control.

I think I will begin this morning meeting God for bible study and breakfast on the back porch. Then I will tackle the rest of the day, before it has a chance to tackle me!

Jammin in my life

2008-07-17T23:07:00.003-04:00

Well it's almost bedtime and I'm just tired. I ended up getting more done, then I thought I would.

The guys went fishing and I got busy........

*I got caught up on the last 2 weeks of "So you think you think you can dance"
*Watered the peppers, herbs, flower and the garden.
*Did 2 days of bible study
*Cleaned the kitchen
*Made 11 jars of blackberry jam
*took a shower

As you can see, I had a protective evening. Now the boys are home and its getting late. I better turn in, so I can rest up for tomorrow.

Lots & Lots of veggies and berries

2008-07-17T12:17:00.003-04:00

The cove family night went great. I always love the laid back atmosphere of these things. Its nice to just sit back and talk to everyone, you never have the time to talk too. I got to spend alot of time with Mandy, Donna & Becky. We brainstormed about a lot of stuff we would like to get together and do. So planning has begun.

Donna, Becky, Summer and I think Beth have decided to attend the Beth Moore conference at Grace on August 1st and 2nd. I can't wait to hear Beth speak, but I'm not too excited about walking into Grace again. But, I'm not going to be comfortable, I'm going to hear from God.

Today begun early. I got up, got dressed, stopped at Chick-fil-a and then met Mandy at the fruit and Berry Patch to pick blackberries. After much sweating and walking, I came home with a lot of great looking blackberries and even several fresh peaches. Then I stopped at dad's work to pick up some produce that his neighbors had sent me. After picking up multiple bags of squash, zukinni(sp), cucumbers, fresh green beans, I headed home. Now, I have to plan on slicing, dicing, shredding all this produce for the freezer tomorrow, but I'm so grateful for it. I'm having a great time, finding new ways to prepare all of it. So far, my family's favorite is vegetable lasagna, they loved it, no meat just sliced veggies. Dennis said this was his favorite lasagna ever, so it looks like it just might be on the menu again very soon.

Now I'm getting ready to take Dustin for a haircut. He leaves Sunday night at 11:30 with the church for youth camp. They are going to Mrytle Beach, he's so excited. That means things have to be packed and ready. This also means I have the next week to myself. So I have plans to lesson plan, my goal is to have at least 3 to 6 months of plans ready for the new school year. Which we will begin the 2 Monday of August.

But for now, fruits and veggies are in my immediate future and I'm going to go enjoy them.

Please Pray

2008-07-16T09:57:00.002-04:00

We have a sweet family at our church, that we have just fallen in love with. Jessica Davis and her husband is part of our praise team on Sunday mornings. At 2 AM Monday morning, she received the news that her brother had been killed in Afghanistan. Now they are left devastated with the news. This was suppose to be his last week there and then he was out of there. Now he is with Jesus, and his family is left to pick up the pieces. Please pray for peace and comfort for this family. This will be a long process due to the nature of his death and the proceeding funeral and burial. They are going to need lots of prayers for the upcoming days and weeks ahead. Please pray for this family often, we all now what difference it can make. If you want more info, it is documented and there is even a video with Jessica on Knoxnews.com
Thank you!

Time flies when your busy....

2008-07-16T09:32:00.004-04:00

The above pictures are of my bible study girls, now you have a face to go along with my stories.

I can't believe its been so long since I have written. I have just been so busy living life, that I haven't took the time to write it all down. I promise I will do better.

Yesterday began with bible study with the girls (Beth & Richelle). It was very good, this study is really kicking my butt, personally. And I think the girls would say the same. Then I had some errands to run, so it was a busy day.

I was able to find a foot stool for my living room, that was in dire need of some love. So after a new paint job and new fabric, it now feels love in my home. This little project took up most of my evening. I was still able to throw together some big salads for the boys and pasta salad for tonight.

Tonight is "Cove Night" for our church. We gather together to swim, play volleyball and of course eat. So pasta salad and brownies will be accompaning the Johnsons.

This last weekend was spent in the Mountains with the entire family. My mother was off for the entire weekend and was celebrating her 60th birthday. So we rented some rooms, gathered the family (including our new edition, bill) and headed to gatlinburg. We ate, ate and ate. We swam, swam and swam. We also got some shopping in. Then the rain came, so the birthday party/picnic was cancelled. We headed home and celebrated here. I will post some pictures soon.

That's just a little wrap-up of the last several days for the Johnsons.

A friend & frozen hot chocolate, life is good....

2008-06-27T08:57:00.003-04:00

Yesterday, I was able to finish the bathroom, except the artwork and cleaning up of the paint smudges. But it is definitely coming together.

I had a visitor, in the middle of painting yesterday. Lorrie and her daughter Grace stopped to check if I needed anything (my van is still in the shop). They were able to see me at my finest, no makeup and painting clothes, covered in paint. But they didn't seem to mind my looks and I just appreciated the time they took and the thought behind the visit. Thank you again, for checking on me, Lorrie.

After supper, Dennis and the kids went to visit Bryan in the hospital. This left me alone and a little bored. I have been so busy the last several days, I just needed a little hot tub time. So....................

I called Richelle, asked if she would in interested in a little girly time. She said absolutely and the night was set in motion.

2 hours = 120 minutes
2 friends = Years and Years of friendship
2 frozen hot chocolates = pure bliss
1 hot-tub = total relaxation
Total Evening = PRICELESS

Today is the curriculum convention, so that's where I'm headed. Then to TJ max's for the artwork and glass items for the bathroom. Then back home to get the room put back together and finished. So another busy day ahead, but I'm so glad to be living it.

With the right focus, a lot can be done

2008-06-26T09:11:00.003-04:00

God granted me a large portion of focus yesterday. I was able to catch up on my bible study for the week (this is an awesome study) and enjoy breakfast on the back porch, surrounded by nature. I then got busy, starting with the bedroom, changed sheets, vacuumed, cleaned everything. There is something so calming about the most intimate room in the house being clean.

Then I moved on to laundry, I was able to get done and put up 6 loads. The putting up part is the hardest for me, I seem to just leave them folded in the basket or hanging in the laundry room. But not today, they made it all the way up the stairs. Yeah

I then tackled the office, cleaned and organized the desk. Man I was on a roll......

Believe it or not, I then decided to start staining our wallboard in the bathroom. This room has been in remodel mode for several months and I'm just ready to have it done. So I started staining and finished the whole thing in just a couple of hours. I was impressed with myself.

Next I decided if I had to be home today. Then the rest of the room was going to be finished as quickly as possible. So I had Dustin run me to Home Depot, to pick up new paint for the walls and doors, so I would have it here to start first thing this morning. I already have the new shower curtain and rug, so it will be almost finished today, if everything goes right. The only thing will be to pick up the wall art, I've already picked out and hang, then the room is finished. I have to go to the homeschooling convention tomorrow morning, so I plan on stopping by TJ Max's and picking up the art piece, so it will be hung by tomorrow night. Yeah, hopefully another project will be finished.

This evening we are going to the hospital to visit Dennis's best friend, Brian. He is having surgery this afternoon, so please send a little prayer up for him.

Well I better get up and running if the days plans are to succeed. I'm convinced that the secret is "focus".

A New Day

2008-06-25T09:15:00.005-04:00

Yesterday was a good day, with a little crap thrown in.

I didn't get anything done in the house and its still a wreck.....but

I had lunch with mom at Calhouns.
Went shopping at Kohls & Sears, found a few cute tops and several pairs of sandals, Yeah.
Got to see Beth, but it didn't last long enough!
The van stopped on me in the middle of clinton Highway & had to be towed, so I'm without a vehicle until its fixed.

So see, I had a great day, with just a sprinkling of crap!

But today is a new day. I have no vehicle, so no excuses to not cleaning house. So that is the plan for today. I really need to get on my schedule again, it really makes a difference for me. The school schedule keeps me on track, sort of. But the summer break, I just lose all focus and sense of time, haha. But things have to change! When my house is unorganized, I'm the same.

I have to attend the homeschool convention Friday to get curriculum for Dustin. This is our last year, and I really want to make it count. I will be attending the convention for the very last time. Looking for curriculum for the last time.

While Dustin is a youth camp, next month, I'm using the time to lesson plan, for the very last time. There are alot of last times slated for next year. Homeschooling ends for our family, Sierra leaves home and begins her new little family, Dennis & I will have adults for children and alot of my time and energy will be freed up.

So life will be changing for the Johnson's the next year, alot. But this year, has been a year of "Change" for me, personally. And God has took me up on the offer, he is instilling new desires in my heart, he is freeing me from some things that hold me back and he is slowly getting me used to the fact, that this time next year, begins the next season of life for me.

But for now, cleaning is the order for today.

Life has got away from me

2008-06-24T09:02:00.004-04:00

Lots of life has come and gone since the last time I blogged.

Lunch with Richelle- With our bible study at church being out for the summer, it had been at least a month since we did lunch. It was so fun catching up and enjoying some laughs together.

Started a new bible study "No other God's" by Kelly minter. To say it hits home is an understatement. Beth Moore is leading this study online on her blog every other Tuesday. Me, Beth & Richelle have decided to do this study at my house every other Tuesday. We will meet for lunch, watch Beth and discuss our Two weeks of lessons. Our fist meeting is July 1st. I can't wait to see what God has showed them and share what he is teaching me, in this process.

Journey with Jesus-Wow! that's all I can say! Richelle was right, when she said this event was life changing. I would call it life cleansing! Imagine going in to meet with Jesus and coming out, empty! Yes, I said empty. Empty of everything that was holding me back and holding me up. They said your individual meeting with Jesus should take 30-90 minutes, well our meeting went a little over schedule. One hour and 47 minutes to be exact. It was as if time stood still. It was awesome and I would recommend this highly to everyone, if the opportunity arises again to take this journey.

New Furniture-God blessed us with a great new table and chairs. I was able to find exactly what I was looking for. It needed new fabric, but other than that, it was a steal. So yesterday, consisted of, picking it up, making a trip to JoAnns, and spending the next several hours reupholstering the seats in black leather. It turned out well and we enjoyed our first meal last night, gathered around it.

New Clothes-This last weekend, I got to go shopping. I normally do not like to shop. But I have been really wanting some new clothes, that fit my body. I have always tried to cover up the fact, that God blessed Dennis with alot of his favorite body part, on me. I have tried to camouflage that fact. But God has been working on me alot this year. He has called me out from hiding. He has gave me the desire to work with what I got, to the best of my ability. So shopping I went, and I bought clothes that really fit my body. I have picked prints, color & styles I would have never worn before. I feel as if I am seeing my body for the first time with open eyes. So you may not recognize me, I have lost control of the women in me, and she has just went a little wild.

Gardening- We have been picking green beans like crazy. In the past week, we have picked 3 walmart bags full. The cucumbers are coming in at a rate of 5-6 a week. The tomatoes are full and are beginning to ripen, we will be overrun by tomatoes in the next couple of weeks. It is so gratifying to eat what your hands have helped grow. It is just amazing that we can take such a big part of what goes into our bodies, into our own hands.

See alot has happened in such a short time. Today, mom has her physical. I don't believe she has been getting very good health care for a while now. So I made her an appointment with my doctor. Hopefully she will be getting better care and advice from now on. After her physical and fasting, she will be starving, so we are going to lunch, later this morning.

My bedroom is upside down at the moment and is in need of dire cleaning. I think I will work a little bit on that until mom calls and is ready for lunch. Then hopefully I'm going to start in the laundry area, washing clothes and cleaning the laundry room. We really need to finish the entire area, so we may be starting that in the next couple of days.

The bathroom needs to be finished. We added new medicine cabinet and lighting several weeks ago. Now the wood needs to be stained to match. I've already got the new shower curtain and rug, so really all it's waiting on is Me. I want to have this room finished by the weekend.

I better get up and get busy. There is a whole lot of living in my life to be done. I'll post later on how much I've actually accomplished, haha.

Good News

2008-06-11T17:24:00.005-04:00

Dennis had his biopsy this afternoon. The doctor showed us the particles removed. He said it only looks like fatty cells, which he said was the best thing we could have found. The final results won't be ready until tomorrow, but he seemed real pleased by what he has initially seen.

So thank you everyone for the prayers and please continue them until we get the final results. And when those results are "clean", please Thank God and give him all the glory just like we are going to do.

Have a wonderful evening and give your husband a quick hug. You really don't realize how much you lean on them, until a little scare hits you up side the head.

I'm going to go love on my hubby.

Losing Focus

2008-06-11T09:10:00.004-04:00

Thank you for your prayers for our family. Your words of encouragement means everything to me.

During this last week back, I have been somewhat out of sorts. I can't really put my finger on it. But I have been very unfocused. I don't think that it helped that Dennis had a virus and now the waiting on the lump issue. But it really started when I came back. I just can't seem to find my routine.

Today I need to run to the bank, blockbuster & petsmart. I'm going to restock several fish to our pond. Right before I left, a huge bird came and ate about half our fish. Our large and some smaller fish. Now I must restock, but not with expensive fish.

Saturday is our anniversary, 23 years, I can't believe it! We are not sure how we are going to celebrate yet, maybe just a movie and dinner out, Just simply. We would really like to take a week away in the fall together, just the 2 of us. But with gas and the economy the way it is, we will just have to wait and see. With the wedding and cruise next may, we really just need to concentrate on that, but a week together on a beach sounds really good.

Sunday is Father's day and I have no idea, what to get Dennis or my dad. My dad is extremely hard to buy for, he has everything. We may just treat him to a great dinner at the Ye olde Steakhouse.

See how unfocused I am, even in my writing and my plans for the weekend. I am going to get up, get dressed and head out into the beautiful day. Bill and Dustin are going fishing for the afternoon and Sierra is at work, so it's just me and my imaginary friends.

Prayers needed please.

2008-06-10T18:53:00.004-04:00

Dennis is feeling much better after a bout with the virus.

Anyways, Dennis has had a lump on the back of his neck for several months. When he went for his physical last month, I insisted he ask the doctor. The doctor sent him to a (ear,nose & throat)doctor for today.

We had thought that it was just a left over lymph node from some nasty sinus infections over the winter and spring, but its not where the lymph node should be.
So he goes for a biopsy tomorrow at 2 at Fort Sanders. We will not get the results until Friday or possibly Monday. Please Pray for calmness during the procedure for Dennis and calmness for me, during the wait for results.

We will trust God, no matter the results. But we would appreciate your prayers during this time.

My hubby is under the weather

2008-06-10T09:01:00.003-04:00

Sunday started the way most Sunday's do at the Johnsons, church. Then we had lunch with Bill, Sierra & Dustin at Palleos and headed home. Then that's when it happened....Dennis "I'm not feeling so good". Virus's has been attacking alot of our friends lately and it had gotten Dennis in the process. He spent most of Sunday in the bed being pampered. Then Monday morning, just like every other Monday, he leaves for work. By Lunch he was back home and in the bed. We watched movies, ate and he dozed off & on for the rest of the day.

I even told him, I loved it when he was home and I can't wait till he retires, lol.

We watched a little TV until 11:00 and then he was out again.

Now, he is at work. I hope he is feeling better, I better call and check on him.

Plans for today,
cleaning
postoffice

Maryland

2008-06-05T08:57:00.003-04:00

Our first stop, Maryland.The reason this adventure took place, a funeral.

My mom's brother buddy has lived in Maryland my whole life. He and his wife, Dot has a large family, mainly girls. Girls definitely ruled in their household.

The only time I got to spend with my many cousins, was when they would come to visit his father & mother (my grandparents). Then we would all gather at mamaw and papaws and try to cram as much fun as we could in to such a short time.

Then years go by, and by and by!

A year becomes 5 years, becomes 10 years, becomes 20 years!

I was able to see Buddy, Dot and a couple of their girls last summer, when he was able to make one last trip to Tennessee. We gathered as many family as we could and just enjoyed his visit.

Buddy has lived a very long time in poor health, but definitely not spirit. His family rallied around him and loved him. I really thank that's why he was able to live longer than any doctor could imagine. Their was many times, we thought was the end, and he would just pull through.

But this last week, God saw fit to bring him home. The family was heartbroken of course, but their was also a peace that he was home and perfectly healthy. His family shared alot of family memories, which had us laughing hysterically.

I got to see some of my cousins, I hadn't seen in 20 years. It was great to reconnect and see where life had taken us all. And though the reason for this trip included sadness, I was blessed by the way this family loved each other.

What was the best part of the trip?

2008-06-04T09:58:00.003-04:00

The best part of the trip was having the time with my parents. As we left, I told them it had been at least 25 years since we had vacationed, just the 3 of us. Twenty five years is a very long time. I do have to admit being a little nervous about the situation, but God couldn't have been more faithful.

As Knoxville was left in the rear view mirror, something unique happened. We began our relationship as 3 adults, not as parents & child. We had adult conversations and even some adult laughs, mainly at mom's expense.

I can't begin to tell you what this trip meant to me, when it was finished. I spent an entire week, begin doted on and loved on by my parents. They were so focused on making sure, I got to see what I wanted to see. They wanted to amaze me with all the sights and adventures that they had already went on a couple of years ago.

I could not ask for anything more. The week went perfectly. We got along wonderfully. And the memories I have are many, but my favorite is the time spent with just mom & dad.

I really enjoyed their company, and I believe they really enjoyed mine. I can't thank God enough for organizing this trip for us and my friends and family that encouraged me to go.

I have NO REGRETS, only wonderful memories to last my life time.

I will write more later on all of our adventures. I'm trying to get everything back together and get my thoughts in order.

WoW! That's all I can say!!!

2008-06-02T08:18:00.004-04:00

Last week went by in a blur. It was filled with family, sightseeing, wonderful food,many laughs, a few tears and a whole lot of memories. God blessed me tremendously with this trip. I have a whole lot of things to write, but I need to get a few things done, mainly laundry from the week and unpacking. So I will be posting about my adventures later today and probably for the next couple of days. For now, I will leave a couple of pictures.

Good Morning from Washington

2008-05-28T09:05:00.001-04:00

We are having a great time here. Seeing lots of things and taking tons of pictures. Hope everyone is doing great.

Beginning to Pack

2008-05-23T11:20:00.004-04:00

Now that I've decided to go on this adventure. I need to get busy, really busy. I have clothes to wash and pack. Things to get organized and some things to get done, to make my boys more comfortable, while I'm gone.

Hopefully, I will have everything packed by this evening. Then I can concentrate on putting some meals and things in place, so Dennis doesn't have to worry about "What's for supper". I think that's what causes the anxiousness in going away. I don't want my family to suffer, while I'm gone. I know Dennis is a big boy and can do things on his own. But after working hard all day, I don't want him to have to worry about something so mundane. So if I can get some things planned for him, I can relax a little more.

I believe we are leaving Sunday morning, meaning I will miss Memorial day with my family. I'm hoping friends and family will take some pity on them, and everyone can have a great day. I should be back by Saturday, with great memories and lots of pictures. So if I don't get back to my blog, before I leave. Please pray for me and my parents to have a safe travel and for my uncle's family that God will bring them comfort and peace in this time.Please pray that my family has a great time without the "warden" for the week, haha.

Funeral & Travel Adventures

2008-05-22T15:38:00.005-04:00

My uncle died yesterday morning in Maryland.

So mom and dad is leaving for Maryland, Monday morning. They plan on staying a week. My dad has always wanted to show me Washington D.C. and the Amish country and New York, so he really wants me to tag along, so we can spend a great deal of time sight-seeing. And I will get to see family members I haven't seen in a long time.

As my post before states, I do not like to travel far outside my comfort zone, especially without Dennis. I like to enjoy seeing things with him, but he just isn't able to get away on such short notice, for such a long time. So the offer stands for me and Dustin to tag along.

My father has tried to get me to take this trip several times, we were even going to go last September, but decided on the Bahamas instead. He wants to take me to the Smithsonian, the war memorial then to New york, to see china town, central park, etc. Then we will be traveling through the Amish country, he thinks I will just fall in love with their markets, since I am a farmers market lover.

As much as I love the comfort of my home, I also am a little excited about the adventure of travel. I think I will take them up on the offer and enjoy the trip with my parents. I also am looking forward to seeing long lost cousins and see where life has taken them. I am I'm not for sure, if Dustin is going or not, he is thinking about at, at the moment. I know it would make my father happy and I really want to enjoy all the time, God allows me to have with them. I think this is one of those-NO REGRETS decisions I just need to thank God for.

Waffle house, Waffle House, meet me at the waffle house

2008-05-22T15:27:00.004-04:00

Yesterday after lunch, Dustin told me to get ready. He was treating me to dessert somewhere.

Let me start this story with a little history. I am very picky about my food. I am also very picky on where my food comes from. I do not like greasy spoons or all you can eat buffets. But Dustin's favorite little stop is the Waffle House, you know, the yellow, tiny greasy, place. He loves their hash browns and Double Chocolate pie.

So you probably already know where this story leads, don't you. He surprised me with the waffle house, at first I was not too excited, but his excitement about driving me their was contagious. So I didn't protest, I just went and enjoyed a piece of Double Chocolate pie with my son. He was right, the pie was wonderful. So wonderful, that we bought the entire pie and brought it home, so we would have some for later.

God used Dustin yesterday to teach me a little lesson. Wonderful things can be found in tiny- greasy, places. And that if I will just relax and step outside my box, I may just be surprised. I was also very grateful that my son at 17 years old, is not embarrassed to share a piece of pie in public with his mother. Thanks Dustin, for forcing your mother to look at things a little differently.

My Boys & Their TOYS

2008-05-19T20:26:00.005-04:00

This is what my boys have been focused on the last several weeks. Do guys not grow out of the need for wheels?

Bible study tomorrow and lunch at Raffertys with the girls. Last one of the study. But I'm ready for a little down time this summer. I need to rejuvenate and gear up for the next school year, it will be our last one. And changes are coming so quick, I need to catch up a little.

Sierra bought her wedding dress today, she looks absoulutely beautiful in it. I want to thank everyone for their prayers becuase we had a really good time together during this process and I know that the prayers helped.

I know the power of your prayers so I want to ask you all to continue to pray for my sister Beth and her husband. They seem to be coming to a crossroads, to where changes are going to be necessary. But we know God and we know he can perform miracles. So that is what we are asking for until the answer is no. Pray for clarity and wisdom for both and peace and faith for Beth. She asked me personally to ask for these prayers from my friends, so lets don't let her down. Lets pray until changes come and they can both say "Look what the LORD has done!"

Did someone say, Sunset wedding in Bermuda?

2008-05-18T14:50:00.003-04:00

Saturday turned out to be a great day!

Sierra & I went to the farmers market and got some goodies, then we headed to David's Bridal to look at dresses.

As many of you know, I didn't know what to expect during this excursion. I was pleasantly surprised. Sierra tried on 2 dresses and fell in love with the second one. It looks really good on her and is ivory, so it looks nice against her skin. She has decided this is the one she wants, so we are going to pick it up on Monday. That was so easy!!!!

Then we started a discussion on the wedding and different ideas. I was just playing around and suggested Bermuda, laughingly. But guess what, Bill thought the idea was wonderful, I think the anticipation of planning was beginning to get to both of them. And they are a simple couple so the church wedding is off and a sunset wedding in Bermuda is on. We are finalizing details right now, but should have plans finalized by the end of the week. As of right now, it looks like we will leave Knoxville around May 1st, drive to S.C., board the cruise ship and head to the Bermuda for 7 days. The Cruise line will handle all the wedding details, they just tell them what they want and which location, and the ship does the rest. This will be fun & easy!

God took all this anxiousness over the wedding and handed us back a wonderful plan. They will have a wonderful wedding and the rest of us get a nice relaxing vacation celebrating their marriage. When we get back, we plan on having a wedding party so everyone can celebrate with them. The couple are so excited, they can't stand it and we are excited too.

God is so good to our family. Why are we surprised when he shows up in our lives. We should live in anticipation of his presence.

After we found the dress, we finished with lunch at Calhouns. We ended up having a great time with each other. I am so grateful to have good memories of this special time, I'm going to hang onto it as long as I can.

Here comes the sun......

2008-05-16T09:24:00.003-04:00

I am so ready for a little sun. I love rainy days too, but not continuously. Too many gloomy days does not do this girl any good. Just like my garden, I need the sun to grow and perform at my best.

Today, I plan on cleaning the house quickly, so I can spend some time reading today. I picked up a new book at target, began reading it last night and as usual, that's all I think about until it is finished. That's why I don't buy too many books right now, because I am so anal about finishing them and if their real good, my home goes to pot. But I decided to treat myself and my mind to a new adventure this week.

Dennis & Dustin have a job late this evening so I have plans for filling my late evening with girly movies. I try to keep a couple on hand, for late nights waiting on my men to get home. These late nights only happen a couple of times a year, so I try to take advantage of them.

Tomorrow is Farmer's market day, I look forward to this all week. It's such an elecletic group of people and such a neighborly atmosphere. I just love to see what treasures I might find. There is a pastry shop set up, that we visit every week for fresh pastries, muffins, cookies and Mexican cornbread. Those come home with us every week. Then there are fresh veggies, lettuces, herbs, etc to choose from. I don't eat any of it, but I love to look at it and bring some home for my family. If your looking for homemade jewelry, crafts, purses, you'll find that too.

Then it's off for dress shopping with Sierra. I know I have already asked for prayer. But I need some more. This wedding situation did not start off on a very good foot to began with. Now we just know it's going to happen and I'm trying to
get excited myself, which I'm having some trouble with. I'm hoping this shopping trip will jump start the process for me. I really want to look back on this time with joy and happiness, and that is only going to be possible, if I keep my energy and attitude in it's proper place. So I need prayer, to watch the things that I say, my facial expressions (that I may not even be aware of, THANKS RICHELLE!) and my overall countenance in this time spent with her. My intentions are good, but the way I express them may not all ways be. I'm hoping some of you can relate, to this daughter-mother situation, it's one of the toughest things I have encountered. We are trying to find the balance in our relationship, there are good days and plenty of bad ones. But I am determined to make this period of adjustment as short as possible, it may not be possible but if it is, I working toward that.

I'm beginning to realize that this is a normal part of life. People have been telling me that, but it never really sunk in. We have never been a normal family to begin with. But God has placed some mother-daughter relationships in my view the last couple of weeks and is showing me, that there is not much I can do about the situation. This had to happen to our relationship, there has to be friction and misunderstandings, so we will both be ready for her to move on. It is going to take some time (I hate waiting)and some work on both of our parts, but the ending will be great. We will be just as close again but in a different way. I'm going to hold God accountable on that one! haha

Anyways, if I'm going to get anything done today, I first have to get started. I think I will start with a shower and go on from there. If you happen to catch me on the back porch curled up with my book and the house is still a mess, I would love to say, hold me accountable to the situation. But I won't, I'll just say, leave me alone and mind your own business, haha.

Today, I went to China, in my kitchen

2008-05-15T19:46:00.003-04:00

I decided to try something different today, I tried my hand at Chinese cooking. I went so far, as to make my own egg rolls, which the family thought was really good. I also made stir-fry veggies and homemade fried rice. Dennis was so excited, because Chinese is one of his favorite meals. Everything turned out great, especially for my first time.

As you can see, I spent most of the day preparing for tonight's dinner, so I didn't get a lot of other stuff done.

This week has been somewhat calm and relaxing. The good news is, my blood sugar has been completely normal (for me anyway) for the last 2 days. I started my diabetes meds last week, and they are finally kicking in. I am starting to feel better and have more energy. I have learned now, by the way I feel, when my sugar is high.

Dennis had his physical on Monday. He is doing great! His blood pressure is great and if he can lose 8 more pounds, he can get off his blood pressure meds. He really has been taking care of himself. I'm so proud of him! He also takes real good care of me, he holds me accountable on my blood sugar levels and my eating habits. We are doing pretty well in the health department right now. I even bought myself a new exercise bike.

Saturday begins the wedding preparations. After the trip to the farmer's market, me and Sierra are heading to look at wedding dresses. Pray that I will be in the right frame of mind and that I will offer nothing but encouragement for Sierra. I want this to be fun for the both of us.

Sunday is church day. I think we may spend the afternoon resting, because we have our small group that evening. We have really fallen in love with our small group, the people are so kind and we end up spending the evening laughing our heads off. We always leave, and about 5 minutes into the ride home, one of us comments how much fun that was. God has really blessed us!

I hope to clean house tomorrow, so I don't have to worry about it all weekend. My office needs some work and I just may get to it tomorrow. Not much else going on, here at the Johnson's except Dustin working on his truck, and Dennis fixing and riding his motorcycle. You should see the smile on his face, when he rides. He's like a kid in a candy store. And though I am a little scared of him riding, I love to see that smile! He might even get me on the back!!!!!!!

Mothers, Daughters, Children

2008-05-12T09:10:00.003-04:00

I had a really good weekend, spent with family & friends. It started with:

Saturday, a trip to the farmers market. Walked away with fresh strawberries, butterhead lettuce, cookies and a new tomato plant.

Lunch with the family and dad at one of our favorite Mexican restaurants.

Dinner at Carraba's with mom and Sierra and alot of mother-daughters, at church. Then we headed to the Oak Ridge Playhouse for the production of Grease, which is my all-time favorite movie. We had a couple of extra tickets, so I called Dennis, set up babysitting. Then I called Richelle and told her to get ready and join us. It turned out to be a great evening and the play was very good too.

Sunday started a little cold and cloudy and we worried a little bit about our plans for the day. But the rain decided to come during church and when church was over, it was beautiful. So we met mom, dad & Bill at the house and headed to Sevierville. We stopped at Logans for lunch and then headed to dollywood. There was no one there, no waiting in line and we even got to park in section B. We had a really good time.

As we got back home, everyone went their own direction, which left just me and Dennis. So we enjoyed the hotub for about 2 hours and then I put on my pajamas, laid in the bed and watched tv, while Dennis helped Dustin on his truck.

My children gifted me with a picture to hang over our fireplace. It is a winter scene, with bare trees, especially one off to its self. I had seen it a couple of months ago with Sierra, and told her how much I loved it. She remembered, I can't believe it, she really does listen. So I was pleasantly surprised with this gift, I can't wait to hang it. There is something about a leafless tree that catches my attention and breath. It seems so bare, but so strong. So lifeless but so full of life.

Dennis gifted me with a new purse and matching wallet. I love it and really needed a bigger purse, so I could carry my organizer with me.

I had a great mothers day! My children and family are healthy & happy, and we love each other. That's all that really matters to me.

God's spoke to me today....

2008-05-07T12:55:00.002-04:00

My past does not define me;
My weakness and past performance do not limit me;
and the opinons of others do not restrict God's power in my life.

Prayers needed

2008-05-07T09:43:00.004-04:00

My sister Beth is having a hard week. I will not share the situation, because it is not mine to share. But God knows the situation and he knows the outcome. But the waiting and wondering is taking its toll on her. I would like everyone to take the time to pray for encouragment and peace in the waiting for Beth . Thank you in advance for your prayers, we know how awesome God is and just what he can do.

Lots have been going on over here......

2008-05-06T22:22:00.003-04:00

Friday, I attended my dietitian appointment, it was very interesting and informative. Learned I needed to begin a 9-hour diabetes training class, soon.

Saturday, it rained, so no farmers market. I will try again this week though. I went to sams with mom and just piddled around the house.

Sunday was a long but very fun day for us. First of all, after church we attended the membership class. And if you know us well, this is a big decision for us. We attended, we liked what we heard and we joined. Yes, we are now members of Northstar church after almost 2 years. Then we headed home for a couple of hours, I read the paper and Dennis worked and rode his motorcycle, until 5. Then we headed to our small group fellowship/BBQ, we had a great time. We are falling in love with our group.

Monday came quickly, got some errands finished and then watched a movie with my man.

Tuesday came even quicker, Bible study was really good. I was blessed with wisdom from a mother-daughter combo, that went through, what me and Sierra is currently involved in. Which is not a good situation at this moment. But I came away from our Bible study with some peace about the situation. Yeah, God.

Lunch with Richelle was great. We went to Calhouns as usual, I think we are addicted. We talked, shared, laughed and just enjoyed being together. I'm going to miss these outings when bible study is over. But we have decided to start a Eating right bible study this summer and hold each other more accountable, on living more healthy.

Then this evening me and Dennis attended our first of 3 nights of 3 hour diabetes classes. This first one was on the disease its self and the basics. Tomorrow night is on exercise and living healthy. Thursday night is all about nutrition and food labels. We are going to learn all we will ever need to know. But it's cool to get info.

Now I'm sitting here. I figured I needed to update the blog, so that's what the Johnson's life has been like lately.

Breezes of Peace

2008-05-01T17:11:00.004-04:00

I'm sitting here on our screened in porch enjoying this late afternoon sunshine. I love this season, open windows, flowers & plants & our porch. It's become my little hide-away from the world. I probable spend just as much time out here as I do in the house.

My animals consider this their territory too. Riley our cat is sitting on her window perch (above my desk) enjoying the sunshine and Chelsey is stretched out in front of the chairs enjoying the breezes, coming through the windows. ( I will post pictures above) And here I sit, blogging about it all.

This is something so unimportant, but so very important to me. Spending time here, relaxes and refreshes me. There is nothing like sitting and reading in the chair nook, or sitting at the table and doing bible study. I spend a lot of time with God out here on my little porch. I think he likes the peace, he provides here.

Finding my focus......

2008-04-30T10:49:00.003-04:00

I have so much to do, I don't know where to start. My house needs cleaning, laundry is behind and my entire dinning room and kitchen sink is full of plants. Since the freezing temperatures snuck in last night, all the plants had to come in or be covered. We didn't realize just how many we had, until we couldn't sit at the dinning room table. But the sun is back out and the temperatures are rising, so I now have the task of putting them all back in their places.

With sickness invading our home, I have lost focus. I'm still not completely better, in fact I think I may have to call the doctor again. It just lingers and lingers and sneaks back on you. Being on Nyquil at night, is not helping matters either. I feel as if I'm walking around in a coma or something.

So I'm trying my best to wake up, get up and get things going for the day. I've started a load of laundry already, so at least I have gotten started on the tasks ahead. I just really don't feel motivated or focused enough to get everything done.

I think I will just start with the plants and go from there. I think I will just think small today, and if alot of things get done, I will call it a really, really great day. That way, if I only get a small amount of stuff done, it will still be a great day.haha

To add to the matter, Bill & Sierra will be here for dinner and A.I. I have no idea what we are going to have for the dinner part. And that always sends me over the edge. If anyone knows me well, food is a very important part of our family. And the planner in me, wants to know in advance what to anticipate, with preparation and such. Just the fact that its already 11:00 in the morning, and I have no plan, makes me anxious. It's silly I know, so unimportant, but for some reason planning in advance just brings peace into this little area of my life.

So I guess I need to get started on my day. It's going to happen whether I've planned for it or not.

Monday Madness

2008-04-28T18:52:00.003-04:00

Well today, I didn't really accomplish anything except shopping for groceries for the fam. I don't mind the shopping but I hate to put it up when I get home. I have been known to let a couple of bags wait on me to be put up.

We had a good weekend. I got to the farmers market on market square Saturday, I was able to buy some new plants and some pastries. I love to go and look, this is one of my guilty pleasures. There is so much cool handmade jewelry, crafts, veggies, and people to look at. This tends to be my Saturday ritual. Then we worked in the garden and flowerbeds until evening, it was a really good day.

Sunday was church, I was so glad to get back to my normal routine. I hate to miss church. Then we headed to mom and dads for lunch until late evening then it was bedtime for us. Which leads to .......

Monday, it's not normally a good day for me. After the weekend, I usually just veg out on Mondays. I think I spend so much time with people and out of the house, that Mondays I just tend to want to be quiet. But that excuse didn't work today, when groceries needed to be bought. But I was able to slip in to target for a little while, I found a new necklace and earrings on clearance and a couple of things we just needed. And all girls know, a trip to target, just makes all the other errands, bearable.

Tomorrow is bible study. I haven't done the first day. I do not like this bible study, but I love the girls. The good thing about this study, is you don't have to do the work, to really learn something, each week.

This weekend coming up looks to be busy, we are going to attend the "new members class" at church. You heard me right, we are going to put our toes in and see how it feels. Then we have a barbecue with our small group, which should be fun. But before the fun, comes the rest of the week. And as always it looks busy, but it's my life right now and as the song says "One day, your going to miss this". So I'm going to stay present and just enjoy this ride, called "my life".

Shedding My Skin...........

2008-04-24T17:55:00.003-04:00

I want to be able to say about everything in my life…“I have No regrets”. I’m beginning to become more and more aware to my life, I’m watching, listening and participating with purpose now.

I turn 40 this year, and I want to live the next 40 with my eyes wide open. I want to throw away the limitations I have set for myself and pick up the adventures just waiting on me. I want to stop the negative self talk and treat myself better. I want to strive to be the most authentic Lisa, I can be. I began this year, looking for change, and I believe it has found me.

The last several months have been different for me, I have listened more and talked less. I have added color to my home and my clothes. Living well on less is becoming more and more important to me. I have a new-found love for my family, I am noticing and appreciating just how lucky I am to have them. I am finding happiness in small and unexpected ways now. My health is a concern to me now, and I’m at a place, where I care. I am waking up, finally to my life.

I could say, I wished this would have happened years ago, but really, I wouldn’t have had the time or energy to notice. As the seasons are changing in our home, my life is evolving into something, that some days, I don’t even recognize. It is exciting and scary at the same time, but I just live in anticipation now, because as scary as change is, when it is complete, I will be real!

And that is what I want for the rest of my life. I want to live in my “real life”. I want to enjoy my “real friends”. I want to serve my “real God” and I want my friends and family to live with the “real Me”!

So if you notice some things about me, that seems a little different, as we spend time together. It’s the real me. I’m shedding my skin..

A game of dodgeball

2008-04-24T17:49:00.002-04:00

Hope everyone is having a great day. It is just beautiful outside, except it’s a little hot, and I really don’t like to sweat. But I did get to enjoy this morning, I was able to get some parsley, oregano, some peppers and flowers planted early before it got so hot. And then it was time for a shower!

Today is gym day for Dustin, so this gives me about 1-½ hours to catch up on blogging or paperwork, today I am doing a little of both. I’m sitting here watching the kids play a good round of dodge ball while catching up on some writing. I also was able to sign Dustin up for his new classes for next year, it’s going to look a little like this on Thursdays this fall:

PE
Photography, Yearbook
Life skills
Music
Astronomy
Art
Auto Mechanics
Wood working
And I can’t remember what else.

So the next year of planning is already underway, with the addition of these classes and I’m looking for a in depth study of writing and literature for next year. Next year will be our last, so I want to make it count. I can’t believe we will be heading to the end of this incredible adventure called home schooling. We have definitely endured the best and worst of times, but I would not change a thing. I am daily blessed with the opportunity to really know my child and I have had the advantage of watching them grow into adults right before my eyes. And I am glad to say I have No regrets on this decision that was made almost 10 years ago!

I will be writing more on the topic of regrets in the next blog.